Wait until marriage

For You… FEB 15, 2003
I’ll pray over a thousand prayers
To show no one compares
To you
I’ll spend more than eternity
Guarding my virginity
I’ll glance at the sky up above
And know when all speak of love
They define me and you.

Just wanted to say that its encouraging to see that you all managed to meet someone special who is willing to wait with you!!!

Maybe I am commitment phobic, but… (there’s that but) But one thing that adds on to my fear is that in the past most guys would leave me when they relise that I wanted to keep my virginity. At first it was more like keep my virgnity until I fell in love with someone and they loved me too. Then I figured wouldn’t the best way to know that the love is true by waiting ‘till marriage?

Back then it was easier to do because most of my good friends had the same goal. After I moved, I met new people and most of them are not the waiting type. The ones who know that I’m still a virgin sort of rub it in like in the 40yr old virgin kind of way. Then I still haven’t met that special someone. And everyone keeps on trying to set me up and I meet these guys who just want to be the first one.

I have not given up on this goal but a part of me is beginning to give up on falling in love. I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m more afraid of being close to someone. Its like I’m protecting myself from being hurt, keeping my virginity and my freedom.