I think I’m back into the swing of things. I’ve resolved to let people know when they’ve crossed a personal boundary, like bringing up personal things about me that I’m not comfortable discussing, or teasing me in a way that is awkward and hurtful. There are only a few people this really relates to at the moment, but with them, it happens quite frequently.
Last year, a boy tried (pathetically) to come between me and my boyfriend. I tried to handle the situation rationally, without offending anyone, but it really hurt my boyfriend, and the other boy refused to take any of the opportunities I gave him to step back and avoid making the situation worse. I ended up cutting all communication with him, even though we’re in the same grade at the same high school.
As far as physical boundaries go, I’ve been handling those better, too. I’m comfortable hugging my friends now, but when people, especially hormonal teenage boys, assume that they can touch me whenever they want, things go badly. A repeat offender recently came over to me in the hallway and patted the top of my head while I was mid-sentence in a conversation with a friend. I whirled around immediately, before he even had a chance to bring his hand back, and snapped at him, saying clearly and firmly, “DON’T touch me.” He acted all shocked and scoffed, like I was overreacting, and maybe to him I was, but just because he has no sense of boundaries, it doesn’t mean I should have to pay for it. He tried to defend himself and before he even got two words out I repeated myself. “I’m serious. Do not touch me again.” And with that I went to lunch with my friends.
...I also keep a squirt bottle full and ready in my locker, just in case someone is a little too persistent ;)
