be less stressed

but I decided to go on anti depressants again to get me over a hurdle in my life. Chronic continuous pain and the stress of losing my job along with the regular run of bad luck I get, has made me realise I need to go back on them. I’m just not coping with ‘life’. I’m trying cipramil and so far so good. It’s only been a week but I can already feel my stress levels diminishing. It’s just difficult to accept that it takes a pill for them to go though. :-(

with a lot of stress this week. Just going with the flow as much as I can during the midst of a bad situation. We’ve had some dramas with someone using my husband’s credit/debit card attached to our living account, someone crashing into me whilst on my girls weekend jaunt, some work worries about the project and my family just ignoring my pleas for help with the housework to name a few. But I’ve managed to think of myself through all of this and realise that the stress I have allowed myself to feel hurts only me in the end. So no more!!!

this goal seems to be the place for me to offload my stress rather than say how wonderful I’m doing at being less stressed!!!

This morning I woke to quite a number of new friend requests on Facebook. People I’ve never heard of, but do to my brain being mush and people changing their names I checked them out. Now three of them have come from an online friend I have had for quite some time..the jury is still out on whether I will add them or not, but suffice to say I think they’re totally ok and if I do add them I will feel comfortable with my decision.

The next one was this ummm..rather scary looking person who was absolutely covered (and I mean total body coverage) in tattoos. I think he must be a tattoist here in Launceston. I hate to be judgemental and it’s not the fact that he is into body art (I appreciate it totally for what it is but I don’t like the total body covered look and that is just my personal taste)...so he and two of his friends have added me (all from the town where I live). I ignored the request and then this afternoon, another three adds…all friends of this guy but this time scattered around Australia. Ignore them. Now another two..again, the common link is this man. I’m a bit freaked out now. My name is my name in real life and my phone is public listed. So I’m a bit scared and panicky. I know I could very well be over reacting to it all..but if you knew some of my past you would understand why I am so scared.

Thank god I’m moving next week is all I can say. In the meantime…this house is going to be locked tight!

I just don’t get why they are doing this??? I feel quite vulnerable and I definitely don’t know any of them. Gosh I have all of one friend in this town in real life.

not to be stressed lately. We are moving in two weeks and being the woman of the house means I need to make sure everything is organised and nothing is overlooked. Being unwell hasn’t helped with things either but I am trying really hard just to stay focussed and deal with issues as they arise. My sleep has been shocking so I’ve been taking restavit which doesn’t agree with me too well the next day. I just wish my brain could switch off at night time and allow me to have the sleep my body desperately craves. I have bought some rescue remedy and I mainly use it for car trips but I’m noticing it doesn’t have a huge effect…it does sometimes but not every time I have it (I wonder if that is normal though?).

that life has been a lot less stressful with my daughter Molly being away :-( She has been away on two camps back to back and life here at home is quiet and without angst. None of us feel we are walking on egg shells and I feel re energised to be able to deal with her more effectively. Fingers crossed I can put into place some of the strategies I have decided on for her in terms of the way she treats me (and gets away with it – until now!)

I’m immensely stressed. I shouldn’t be. Well I have reasons but really it’s no different from any other day. I’m just not coping very well. I’m absolutely freaking out in the car and stressing at dinner time. Really really don’t want to go on medication :-(

how much your significant other’s state of mental health can affect ones own. Tyrone is just in a much happier place at the moment and I think it snowballs into having a much happier household. It also makes me realise how much of my own stress impacts on the rest of them (not that I’m totally ignorant to that but you know). We are both consciously trying hard to contain ourselves and it’s slowly slowly working. Things feel quite peaceful here at the moment. At least until I’m pre-menstrual again and then all bets are off.

the man came home with totally the wrong everything:

dinner
beer
cat food

grrrrr

with achieving this goal. I need to have a big fat whinge here. The last few days I’ve had major pmt with still no sign of it arriving. No no I’m not pregnant. My body is not happy at all though. Neither are my family as my mood swings have been out of control. {sigh}

Money. Money. Money. It’s just all too hard. I want to dye my hair (well I NEED to dye it to cover up the masses amount of grey). I want to buy some clothes for the kids and for myself (we can make do for the time being though). I want to just breathe easier..but it’s always so tight tight tight. I hate living like this. I know I sound selfish but I do enjoy just being able to live a reasonable lifestlye. Not an extravagant one by any means, but at least being able to not have to monitor every single cent.

The one day of the week that Tara loves so much is Saturday. It’s ballet/jazz day. Her teacher has gone off to Europe indefinately and left her business in the hands of someone else. That someone else is hopeless. We turned up for classes last week and Tara was the only one. I specifically said if she wasn’t going to continue with Saturday class then please let me know and I’ll change to Wednesday afterschool. No no she says. We’re going to keep them. Wake up late this morning. Rush rush rush to get there. Feel like crap (see next rant) And no one is there!!!! We wait and wait. Tara gets sadder and sadder. No phone, no email. Nothing. arggghhhhhhhh

My neck.. it’s sore. REally sore. I slept funny one night this week and now it’s so sore it’s adding to my stress and grumpiness.

I have soo much work to do that I have to work a good solid seven hours at home just to make sure deadlines and goals are met.

It’s forecasting rain this afternoon/evening and we are going to an outdoor performance of the Tasmanian Symphony Orchestra. booohoooo…I don’t want to go if it’s wet and miserable.

Ok I’ve finished complaining now. Sorry.

What happened to my cheers?!!!!!!! They’ve vanished!!!!