stay positive

This has been going better lately. Rather than focus on being aware of the present moment, I have been using distraction. When I try to be present, I feel angry. Distraction on something positive—reading, etc., is helping me put time between my feelings of anger and is serving as a bridge to my feelings of contentment.

so one thing that has helped with this is setting another goal on 43 things to identify 100 things that make me happy. This has been really fun and challenging. By having to think of different things rather than focusing on mantras, I have been able to focus better on the positive.

I’m really struggling with this in the past couple of days. I just feel like its my first step to doing anything well or accomplishing my goals. If I can’t get something done, because I haven’t established it as a habit, I can work on that and make a plan. If I can’t get something done, because I can’t even try to motivate myself, because I feel no inspiration, because I believe I can’t, so why even bother: this is a whole ‘nother problem. You know what I mean? I’m thinking so negatively, and I’m aware of it. I try to consciously change it but then I just get more angry. I try to write about it to get all the bad out. I try to write about the good things to counter it. I try to say mantras. I’m just really frustrated. I just feel like I need to find motivation to keep going first. Because I’m stuck.

I think one thing that helps me with is to work on acheiving some of my other things on my list, like volunteering and buying a car. Activily working on goals and reminding myself that I’m accomplishing things, even if they are small, helps me remember I’m moving foward.

I’m in the angry zone tonight and its getting me nowhere. alhtough i know that anger doesn’t help me or anyone else,I just get angrier at the lack of ability to control my feelings. time to step back and let myself be angry. Just trying to observe from a distance until enough time passes and i move foward. so i guess i’m trying to be postive about my anger by accepting myself.