change my life

I wanna change my life. I think I am not doing enough. I am catched! I cant move And I feel like it will be like this forever. I am just 18!! So I wanna change my life. I wanna be more happy and crazy and do stuff JUST FOR ME! I wanna be more selfish. Also I wanna be a bit less lazy and more mature. I need to finish school, so i need to learn. I wanna have friends, but everyone seems so … black and white, but I wanna be colourful! somebody understand????? I need to do something … just something i feel a bit more alive.