Accept it, change it, or forget it.

since starting a new relationship with a man 10 years older than me, who could very easily have baggage if he wanted to, i am starting to see many things in a very different light. he is not all the others and i must make more of an effort not to generalize him in that way. it seems odd, but i’ll express an insecurity and all he has to say is, “get over it” but it still puts me at ease, not total ease, but he’s right. he wouldn’t be doing the things he’s doing if he didn’t want to do them… regardless of my insecurities. my insecurities are my own, and are based on experiences with people who are not him; it is not right for me to assume that he’ll react in similar ways to similar stimulus as other guys have. and the fact remains that he is older and probably doesn’t have the same kinds of hang-ups that guys my age have.
i must accept that he’s older this time, and that while i’m mature for my age, i can let him be the mature one.
i must change how i generalize and assume too much that he’s typically “male” or a typical male in my life anyway.
i must forget previous bad experiences w/ guys and remember that this is a brand new thing… it’s own entity.
every situation is different and must be handled accordingly. i think i like him. i think i need to give this a try.

god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

i know i am not happy where i am. i feel like i’ve been standing still the past 4 years.

i know i need to change something. i need to get up and move around, i need to live instead of exist.