Complete!!! 12 of a 1000 Projects, Products, WorkShops, PlayShops, Events, Charts, Calendars, Forms, Booklets, Kits …

This is turning out to be a whole lot more challenging than I imagined. Staying focused to actually complete 12 projects seems so out of reach right now.

I have been working diligently for almost 2 months on just 1 of the 12. The project itself is sorta-kinda nearing completion(yeah),but there’s a truckload of work still to be done on edits and tweaks and building the resources that go with, the eStore set up, the writing of the blurbs, never mind the ongoing promotion …

Sigh. Tired. Sometimes bored. (And I thought I could almost pull this off during my creative sabbatical. Hahahahahaha … crrrrazy woman!

Work on the project that landed in my head like a bunch of lightbulbs is progressing at a very satisfying pace. No technical difficulties, no having to push the energy to flow, no issues. Sure there’s hard work involved, but Not the struggle through a creative block kind. (yeah) All I have to do with this one, it seems, is keep with disciplined work habits, listen to my inner voice and keep on the balance path. I finally (after 15 years) have the time to concentrate and follow through to completion. Feels am-a-zing!

Seems, at this point anyway, like I’m at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum:))

So, writing for the distinct purpose of losing the gunk that was destroying a (potential) creative buzz plus taking a few (Bach) Flowers (Larch, Willow, Wild Oat) the fear, the anxiety, the pity party was kicked to the dumpster!!! Yay:))

And with a fierce uplifting gust an idea (yep another New one – it’s a blessing and a curse:)) gathered me up into ‘the zone’ where I spent several happy, constructive, magical hours in creative flight.

I love this new idea. It is not only flowing with relative ease. It fits the criteria of inspiring, worthwhile and, has now made it onto the master list. Course I’ll have to demote something else to keep to the hoped-for timeline. (sigh)

Now I feel triumphant … it’s a good building block for more progress tomorrow.

Struggling with focus, or rather lack thereof, and motivation or rather lack thereof, too. Only today it’s worse. Today it is also filled with the extreme anxiety of not being good enough.

For inspiration (ha! so much for that!) I stopped by the website of a very famous ‘mentor’. It doesn’t matter who. Right now it just matters that instead of being inspired I got deflated and hugely overwhelmed with all that she has accomplished as compared to all the I have not! All the hundreds and hundreds … of incomplete projects and then a sense of what’s the use? My work is not …

Okay, serious downward spiral. Solution (journal it out for a few minutes and dump it!!) So, that is what I came here to do. Now, Larch (BFR) and on to make my own progress!

Thanks.

I am really struggling with both focus and motivation – again today.

Though I’m finding it frustrating (of course I want to be great at everything – all the time hahahaha! Clearly I’m crazy right now:)) I do get that, for me, 2011 was an enormously challenging year on all counts. And so the need to take a few days / week / couple of weeks to meander along the winding path of musing is reasonable. (sigh) Still I’d like to at least be inching along.

However, since this sabbatical is supposed to be partly rest and revitalize, I’m giving into the need to nap or embrace the ‘sweetness of doing Nothing’ whenever it strikes – for a bit longer.

I’m good. Even happy … just very low batteries.

Today it might not be in the stars. (So frustrating.) Can’t seem to settle my focus on something that feels both inspiring and worthwhile. Flitting from project to project to find the one that grabs and, is on the ‘master list’ is Not working! ARGH:((

A walk to clear out cobwebs? Well, if that doesn’t work, at least I’ll have stayed on the fitness goal. And that can only be a good thing. (Okay. I’ll do it. Maybe only 5 minutes [hopefully more].

...but not by much! Really. I have soooooooo many ideas. They come to me every day and every night. Much of the time they come so quick and so often that I can hardly keep up with jotting them down. (Its a blessing … and, a cure:))

When I can write then down, name them, jot a little about the idea … sometimes there is an explosion. I often end up zoning into the ethers for hours. When one of the ideas for a book, or a workshop or an audio program or an eProduct … really captures my heart I can spend weeks, grasping time wherever I can get it to flesh out the idea. Sooner or later though, I run out of the flash of insight that makes me fiend after the work or, more likely, Life and its todo list takes me away from finishing the work.

I have a computer filled with folders and files and categories and an external terabyte tower, and cupboards and project boxes filled with ideas for all kinds of partially put-together products, mockups, templates, patterns-in-progress … The actual number is way high.
I’m guessing in the many, many, many hundreds. Thats why I said 1000+. And the ideas keep coming. I really need an assistant again. (That’s another goal) For this one. I’m determined to work to complete 12 eProducts, and related resources, and get them up on my website. I wanna say by the end of MR, but that seems really steep. I have a bunch of things I want to accomplish during my sabbatical that is finally coming up (JA – mid MA 2012). The big one is rest and refresh. A definite conflict with getting 12 eProducts complete. Hmmmm. What to do?

This is the balance thing again, isn’t it? Humph.

Here I am at the same place that always dissuades me from my eProduct goals – technical difficulties. Today as I (half-assed [not feeling great]) worked on one of the chosen 12, my printer is making crazy (read: ugly) renditions of colours – especially the purples. Since purple is my favourite, these days, it is particularly frustrating!

Also having issues with creating patterns / tiles in Adobe illustrator. Then I get myself in a ‘dog-with-a-bone’ loop and become trapped, and unable to go forward.

Lunch time. Thank the Gods . . . off to share the scratch-soup I made yesterday. I’m good at that. Sipping the comfort food will gain me back some confidence and willingness to return to the drawing board:)