think before i speak

I haven’t had much progress lately. I feel like I’ve been under a lot of stress, and that’s when I act without thinking. It’s like I’m on autopilot, going through the motions. On the other hand, it’s quite amazing what you can get done when you turn your mind off. You wake up one day and BAM! you wonder how it all happened.

I’ve noticed that when I start talking about things like music, movies, etc., I get carried away and ramble without thinking. But other times, I’m thinking too much and not saying anything. I’m at the extremes. I want to get control of this, but I wonder how.

I’ve realized that after a day at work or a night out with friends, I’ve said a lot of dumb things – stories at the wrong time, bad jokes, etc. I feel like I’ve been on auto-pilot the whole time. I never really think about what I say, i just react to what others say. If there’s a silence, sometimes I try to break it, but most times I leave it at silence because i have nothing to react to.

Time to shut off the autopilot and go into manual. I want to listen to what other people say, think about it for a moment, come up with possible reactions, and consiously choose what I say in response.

I have no idea how to start doing this. My guess is that I’ll try to wait at least 1 second before speaking, to say things in my head before I say them out loud. Or maybe repeat (in my head) what I hear other people say. Maybe that will break the cycle and give my brain more time to think.