tell him I love him

I’m giving up on this. I love him so much, I really do, but I don’t think it will ever work out. He’s five years older than me. I’m merely sixteen. We never even talk anymore. It hurts, honest to God, but I can’t keep dwelling on it. It’s just one of those things I need to let go.

I have loved him for a long time now. Approximately two years. And I would have told him sooner, but we are a good five years apart in age (I do not think of age as more than a number, but the law thinks otherwise.) There have been times that I have suspected that there were mutual feelings, and last night I got my proof. He told me he loved me. It was after an arguement we had. By the time I had turned around to look at him, he had left.

I have wondered if he said it as a bandaid. An attempt to fix this open wound between us. His tone was quiet, but sincere. I wanted him to mean it. I hope he meant it.

I want to just wrap my arms around him and tell him. But I can’t. Not yet. Not now. Two years. Before I leave for art school. He’ll be on tour, I’ll be studing. It will all work out. He will love me too. We can finally be together. I have faith.