Dedicate 1/2 hour weekly to spiritual teachings

Some notes from my reading : )

Truth: Relative or Absolute

“I’m right. You are wrong” perpetuates separation and conflict in personal relationships and across the world in “warring” nations.

What is Truth really?

Thoughts can point to truth- words can direct to truth but they are never truth. The Buddhists say “The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon”. The thing you discuss as truth is never truth.

Truth is inseparable from who you are. You ARE truth. Jesus said, “I am thhe way, the light and the truth” He was pointing to that concept. You are truth.

“Laws, commandments rues and regulations are necessary for those who are cut off from who they are… the Truth within” _This one really hit home for me, especially as I sit here typing out my “answers”. Once again, writing all of these notes down and keeping track of how to make this shift just isn’t going to do it. I need to meditate and just come to the place of know “I AM”.

Complete identification with thought and emotion is ego… and that is insane… but it’s what we mostly refer to as the norm in our western world.

Only Presence can undo the past. Another thing that resonated with me. I often find myself reacting not how I’d like to to things people do because of some “damaging” thing from my past. By remaining present you transcend that. Holding on to the past events in our lives only helps to cultivate the ego more

Spiritual Realization: ....to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or feel is ultimately not who I am… that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away.beautiful

So what remains? light of consciousness in which perceptions experiences, thought and feelings come and go.* and that’s it… they just come and go. Sounds relaxing

Can I simply sense my beingness? The I AM in the background of life at all times?

The strongest emotion underlying all of ego is FEAR. _Can I recognize in those moments that this is just my ego in fear of losing its identity?

Compulsive Thinking

Retelling the same story over and over again to yourself becomes part of the ego’s identity.

Complaining

Helps reinforce the ego… it gives the ego identification

Holding on to grudges and grievances
Tolle explains that trying to “let go and forgive” doesn’t work. What works? Recognizing that the feeling serves no purpose other than reinforcing the ego

Faultfinding
Superiority helps fuel the ego. I am right… you are wrong fuels a stronger sense of who you are… actually… who the ego is. This is not to be confused with stating truth or true facts… the problems comes in when the ego starts in with “You don’t believe me?” “How dare you question my authority” type thinking.

The strength of ego may only allow you to see one perspective and only that one- the one that benefits it and makes it stronger. That’s why it can be so dangerous.

The past doesn’t effect the present moment. Only the past grievance effects the present moment

The Core of Ego

Most of us are so connected with the incessant stream of thought in our minds and the emotions that are attached to the thoughts, that we mistakenly identify with that as “I”.... when in fact it is only the ego, not the true self.

The ego so desperately wants to be individual and unique, different from everyone else, it has a habit of criticizing others and finding fault in others to make itself feel superior…. to give itself meaning and place, hierarchy in the realm of the world.

Ironically, while the content of the “story” for each ego is different… they are all the same within each of us ... just the entity aiming for “identification and separation” (Tolle, 60).

So the ego does a great deal of complaining about situations and others and making that part of its identity. Some people entirely ARE that identity. Just a stream of complaints that help the ego grow into something. Criticizing others and name calling… all forms of the ego bullying itself around…

But here’s where it gets interesting…... ...... when we look at other peoples’ “poor behavior”, someone who perhaps may be name calling another or lacking integrity or acting out of greed and power.. we see this and out egos then give their egos identity!!! the ego loves this! Making that greed fr example a part of their identity. Instead of overlooking their unconsciousness and understanding that they are unaware and trapped in their egos, our egos go ahead and fuel theirs and our own. Our egos are conditioned to “find enemies” and put them in the hierarchy!

Tolle says that “by focusing on , you amplify it. And what you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself” (Tolle, 62) ..... WOW.

By not reacting to someone who is unconscious and ego driven, you help to make that shift… it helps bring them back to consciousness. It helps to create the shift in the entire world’s consciousness. The important part is to be aware. It’s like forgivenes… to overlook their behavior or reaction to you. “You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.” (Tolle, 63).

He’s warns not to get confused with correcting a situation as complaining. There is no ego in telling the waiter that your soup is cold… or instructing an employee that they haven’t completed a task properly. But “How dare you serve me cold soup!”... well… lol! It’s the ME in there. The personal offense taken.

His homework in this section is really to become aware of the voice… the voice is in the foreground and in the background is the awareness of the voice. Can you observe and not participate in the stream of banter and thoughts and words from the mind? you are then becoming in touch with the observer… you… your essence.

“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking, no longer ego, but just an old conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.”

I’m a week behind on my reading and DH finished chapter 2 so I figured I would go ahead and do another bit of reading this week :) Well worth it!

If we are trying to detach from associating our identity with material or external things, is it wrong to be proud of one’s possessions or feel resentful of those who have more? Tolle say no. It’s not wrong or right… it just is ego expressing itself.

The ego so desperately wants to attach itself to some external thing so it has identity. So what do you do with these intense feelings??Tolle suggests: “Don’t take it so seriously. Smile at it. It isn’t personal. It isn’t who you are.

I remember years ago having some jealousy issues. Something clicked in me one day and I started observing my jealousy instead of feeling it. And I did smile at it and I found it went away. I observed that my jealousy was just a manifestation of a fear I was feeling that was completely created in my mind… I found just by observing my jealousy instead of participating in it, it went away.

So what about people who renounce all of there belongings? Are they free? Not necessarily. They could now be identifying with this renunciation as a new ID form- that they are better than others because they don’t have things… somehow miraculously making them spiritually superior.

The ego lives in comparison. Often times people find their ego in how they are seen by others. Other’s opinions act as a mirror to tell what they are like and who they are. Me personally, I fall into this trap often.

So how do you let go of attachment?

Tolle says it’s impossible. But it automatically drops away when you no longer seek to find yourself in external sources… or physical sources.

How do you know if you are attached to something? If you become upset or angry about losing it. But it know what you are attached to… it’s the first step to being free.. get this…:

“I am the awareness that is aware that there is attachment”

Yes. The minute you can become aware of the attachment, you have transcended it slightly.

Tolle discusses the body, which has been a source of some pain for me. Some people’s sense of self worth is bound up in external appearance. Can you: 1) Look at the body without judgement? or 2) Recognize those judgements about your body for what they are instead of believing them? or 3) better yet.. can you feel the body from within? Any of these options will initiate healing. No matter what, an attachment to physical form will only lead to suffering beacause the one thing all physical beings have in common? “Impermanence and ultimately decay”.

But to refrain from the body ID does not mean to loathe the body or neglect it. Still take care and appreciate what you have (strength, beauty, vitality, energy) while you have it. Cultivate it to extend it. But simply don’t derive your identity from it.

Descarte says “I think therefore I am”... Tolle disagrees… I think therefore I acknowledge my ego… and in acknowledging ego… well there is awareness… Sartre realized this… The I am is separate from the thinker if it can acknowledge the thinker … Neat.

The last thing he discusses in the book deals with tragic loss…. often when people suddenly are injured badly they get this initial horrifying panic because the thing they identified with has been taken from them… but then suddenly become awakened by that… I am not my physical form. I had this experience in 2008 when I got into my bike accident. It was eye opening for me and healing and set me on the right path. It’s been a struggle to heal ever since but it changed me in a very different way. I’m now remembering this time and seeking to get back there hence m spiritual journey.

We get lost in titles and words. We feel that we have identified “a thing” because we have given it a name. This is just not so. We have only fooled ourselves into knowing what it is… further masked the mystery of the object. It tree is not a tree… what if we arbitrarily named it a flevenfloggen… it’s no different than calling it tree… we are still just as far from knowing it by only having its name with which to identify it.
“When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that waas lost s long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became obsessed with thought”. When you disentangle the definition from the essence a newness and true awareness exists. Words are just the basic reduction that then the mind can comprehend… a combination if vowel and consonant sounds… do vowels and consonants really make up the essence of a thing?

“I”. Albert Einstein called it “an optical illusion of consciousness”... the ilusory self that then becomes the misrepresentation of how we perceive our reality.

The “thinker” or the “unobserved mind” ... My Dad used to say to me when I was little…. “Who is the thinker of your thoughts?” ... it used to blow my mind. Since I’ve meditated for years I’ve been able to be the witness…. but I detach from that easily when I’m in the throws of life. My hope is to become less attached to the thinker who’s been dominating so much recently…

“Thinking without awareness is the main human dilemma” ... awareness that my thoughts are not my essence…

Tolle goes on to discuss how we attach to our possessions as a means of further identifying ourselves… my house, my car, my designer clothes… Possessions in that sense are not an issues for me … although once they were (my designer clothes and my corporate important job). I’ve moved far from that. He talks about ad agencies and how it’s their job to convince you that you NEED these things with celebrities spokespeople- somehow you will be more like them… expensive items because not everyone deserves what you can afford…. that type of thinking.

He challenges us to do this spiritual practice: “Investigate your relationship with the world of things through self observation and in particular things that are designated with the word “my”. And here it is… I don’t want to bring up my body image triggers here but well frankly, it’s something that is disrupting my spirituality…. I have no attachment to “My car”, “My Clothes” and “My house” they are merely material things that could be desroyed in a natural disaster and it would not effect who I am…. BUT! ... he says things taht are designated with the word “my” ... My body.

“You need to be alert and honest to find out, for example, whether your sense of self worth is bound up” in the my things… my body… “Do certain things induce a subtle feeling of superiority or importance? Does the lack of them make you feel inferior to others who have more than you? Do you casually mention things you own or show them off to increase your sense of self worth in their eyes and through them in your own? Do you feel resentful or angry and somehow diminished in your sense of self when someone else have more than you or when you lose your prized possession” I have to say that when I get triggered, most of this does apply!

“How much more time do you need before you will be ready to let go of it?” “Will you become less when you let go of it?” “Has who you are become diminished by the loss?”

This only reinforces me to believe more that I must be meditating on a daily basis. I have the time. I am only lacking… what? The discipline? I feel I am very disciplined… but maybe I am afraid of fully embracing this shift and leaving the attachments behind…

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know it’s the experience you need? Because it’s the experience you are having at this moment”

Realization and Inner Transformation

Of course, simply having a belief system of values and do’s and don’ts does not make a person spiritual. Tolle interestingly states that “the more you make your thoughts (beliefs) into your identity, the more cut off from the spiritual dimension within yourself” ... I guess, once again, it’s giving the ego, or the external an identity, a name, a truth that it does not possess. Truth does not equal thought.

We have all either been on one end of this experience where, “my beliefs are the only true and correct ones” or a least we have witnessed this. This is the danger of associating truth with thought. “They equate truth with thought, and as they are completely identiied with thought (their mind), they claim to be in sole possesion of the truth in an unconscious attempt to protect their identity” WOW! Makes sense why people become so die hard about their views…. they are protecting who they are! If they are wrong… well they may cease to exist! YIKES! In a not so distant past they would also feel justified in killing you over those beliefs.

Spirituality really has to do not with your beliefs but with instead “your state of consciousness”. Think about it… we’ve hear it countless times… “but he is a good church going man”... so what. I’ve been cursed off and cut off by people bearing beautiful Jesus fish symbols and bumper stickers on their cars. They believe with their minds… but there has been no shift in their state of consciousness.

Tolle discusses the urgent need for a shift in consciousness. We are killing our earth in the name of greed. we are hurting others in the name of power or simply in the name of being right. “Evolve or Die” he says. We must transcend the thought…. go in. When you go within, you no longer find your identity from the constant dialogue… your stream of thought.

One of my avorite things to do, is step back and just listen to the tapes playing in my head. That is not me. If I can observe my thoughts, then my thoughts do NOT define me. Who am I then? And that just makes me smile and truly I don’t have words for it.

Ego is identification with form. When we stop identifying with form, we can begin the transcend thought.

Time to go meditate.

So I’ve decided to re-read A New Earth. I gained so much from it, the first time I read it, but I think some how I’ve slipped further away from his teachings as the years have gone by.

This quote, really struck a chord with me today:

“Most human beings see only their outer forms, unaware of their inner essence, just as they are unaware of their own essence and identify only with their own physical and psychological form”.

It’s true… if not tended to… well, the essence is still there but just forgotten… I am my clothes, my body… 10 lbs too heavy, ten lbs too light, I am my big feet or my brown hair….. and we identiy with what we think is ourselves… I am shy, I am outspoken, I get taken advantage of, I am courageous…. but really… that is only the manifestation of the ego.

The ego is not “you”.... the physical body, the personality, is not “you”. We just identiy with these things and they can take us hostage in a way… well, we let them… because it doesn’t have to happen. He calls it “an imposter pretending to be you”.

Essence is easily found in a crystal, a precious stone, or a flower… there is more to it- why are we in such awe of those things? And why only in those types of things do we see beauty and essence… and not just as easily see our own essence??

What motivates our egos?

Psychologically motivating factors: fear, greed and desire for power…. think about it… fear of hurt or loss is so stimulating!.... All of these things on large scale global issues and small scale in personal relationships! It’s really quite amazing.

But he says it’s not as simple as just being a better person… that’s more ego enhancing actually! It’s about a shift in the consciousness to an enlightened state. You don’t become good by trying to be good, you do so by finding it within.

On my adventure to find a spiritual teacher, Wren and I got talking about “what” defines a spiritual teacher… our conversation opened up the idea that a teacher doesn’t have to be physically present. Nor does he or she have to be alive still! Ultimately, in finding a spiritual teacher, the underlying goal for me is to be dedicated to spiritual practice, to stay centered, find my presence, so I can be a better benefit to myself and those around me… and so I can feel a sense o freedom… ultimately, the sense of joy and bliss (another of my goals)

I became interested in Tolle in 2008. A very cool member of 43t who is no longer here sent me his teachings on CD…. I read a New Earth… I think I’d like to start back there again. There is no other teacher who has impacted me so.

As a teenager and into adulthood, I read the Tao Te Ching and I learned today in some of the videos I watched, that he is a big fan of the Tao… I am too. It can bring me to center so quickly.

Today I watched a variety of videos which brought me back to his central message. I love his question “Can I make space for this moment?”. I’ve often repeated that in my life when I’ve had a difficult time dealing with what “is”. You can’t change “what is”... so can you make space for it. And once you make space can you step out of the way and just be present with it…. not giving it any judgement.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5898375271662409422#docid=1059988077801306417

Instead of reacting to the content… you become aware of the now itself then you no longer seek yourself in the reactions to the event, things and people that happen around you. You just simply find that you ARE the stillness.

When you are present…. a greater power takes over… there is no “me” involved. Continuously dwelling with your attention in the field of now.

When you no longer seek yourself in the past, and future then you can honor this moment and embrace now because THIS is life. you embrace what is. Through the embrace you know the spaciousness… the new state of consciousness.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5898375271662409422#docid=-1960501022186915203

By learning to be present and acknowledging the momenet, you and the deepest sense of now are one… you ultimately become Less dependent on extrenals… you don’t depend on externals for your sense of
happiness or aliveness or fulfillment because they come and go all the time.

“You can’t wait for the end of your problems for you to be present. It has to be done wherever you are—which is now.”

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5898375271662409422#docid=-7220452754899291766

Tao Te Ching- Helps us discover ouselves and our connection to the greater whole.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5898375271662409422#docid=7724791914737643551

Life is more imporatant than your life situation.. When you find moments of stillness you can find answers…. think about the problem and then stop looking for answers, go within and start becoming comfortable with what is here and now.

I decided that I am going to re-read A New Earth and watch the weekly teachings Eckhart Tolle did with Oprah.

Next Week: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5898375271662409422#docid=8252046471909544080