I sit back and look at this, my very first literal self portrait, and I am astonished. I was able to paint it without having a single bad thought about myself, which is a testament to how far I’ve come.
Analyzing it, I can see it is a visual reflection of exactly how I feel today. Retracted- avoiding eye contact with the viewer. Convoluted, shady in all the wrong places, and blue.
I am feeling wounded, but its a burning that I equate with rebirth. From this hurt can only come a new beginning. I suspect this is the beginning of my moving away; Grander and more difficult things await. I am grateful that my life is shifting in this direction- I lack the courage to bound into the new life I desire on my own. But still…
I wish my heart were not so heavy.
