Become a Better Mother

The most recent step I have taken to become a better mother is…I’ve enrolled in school again!!! I am so excited!! Now seeking a degree so that I can be able to provide whatever my lil one needs. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!! Kudos to me :)

As a mother is good. It’s great!! I couldn’t life not being one. Some reading this may say…WTF?? ((lol))

I’m doing MUCH better with this, though Im not ready to close this goal up yet. There is so much more that I need to learn. I’ve recently opened up a new chapter in my “motherly” life; her father has come back around and now I’m learning how to share the responsibility of parenthood.

Im getting better with this one ((i laugh to myself)). U get better at parenting with time. No one told me that, but I am finding it out as I go. I know this sounds a little crazy but Im starting to love it ;)

Will only tell if I’m doing well or not. I just hope that if I’m not, I’ll have a good enough notice so I can attempt to repair what I need to. I believe that everyday, I learn something about myself or about my lil girl. And what I learn helps me day by day. I’m starting to see outside of my box. I’m also applying what I learn, trying to figure out if it’s all working or not. I sure hope so. I just want to raise a happy, healthy, successful daughter.

I don’t know why, but I’m not doing a good job. I mean, I try to do my best, but I see myself spiraling downward in this department. I get so stressed out at times and let my frustrations take over and lash out. I need a little advice.

that raising a child was easy when I first got pregnant. Nothing to it but to do it right?? How wrong was I. As parents, we want our children to become successful people. We want what’s best for them…well how come I be flippin out when my little one does something wrong??? Yes, I flip out on a 5 yr old for all things…small and large…flip out to the point where I feel like shit afterwards because I can see the look on her face after I do. It’s an awful face…but I don’t know any other way to handle those situations. Someone told me that I am tired…a little burnt out. I am a single mother…with NO HELP. None from the family, none from the government, and none from the father. He is incarcerated. I’ve been the ONLY one for so long…no time for myself. No time for a real social life…I’m tired. And that is probably why I flip out how I do. I don’t know, but I want to get better. I don’t want her to grow up and hate me…

Things really do seem to be looking up. I am feeling a lot better abot what I’m doing (parenting). The best part is, we’re now communicating ;)

So I’m feeling a little better about what I’m doing as far as becoming a better parent. I did take the first step by admitting that I need a lil help or that I need to improve on various areas…that is great. Now I can step outside of the box and look in to see what I can do to improve. I want to be THE PERFECT parent. Is that possible? Well…I will sure as hell try.

After I joined 43 things, I had a new outlook on how I was doing at this parenting thing. I am more aware of the things I say and do. I am aware of my daughter’s delicate feelings. She thrives off of affection, and I am going to do my best to smother her with it.

Wow…so here I am. A single mother…been that way forever, or at least it seems. My daughter is 5, almost 6. She is a beautiful, intelligent, sweet child. Always smiling and laughing…very lovable. Loves to play and hug and kiss…so what is my problem? I work a lot. Not because I want to, but because I have to. There is no other income coming in other than my wages. I often feel stressed…overwhelmed with all the responsibilites that come along with raising a child. I get depressed a lot. I start thinking of what could have been, and then I become angry. Snappy. Cursing and saying bad things that I later feel awful about. Most of the time, I’m too tired to spend any time with her. I’m exhausted when I get off. She is always asking to go to the park or out to eat. The answer is always no. Then if I do want to go, I’m the party pooper. I’m losing my little girl. She is no longer excited to be in my presence. She doesn’t want to be around me as much as she is. Going with her Nana is more fun than being with Mommy and it hurts because I do love the hell out of her. She is my world. I just don’t know how to be what she needs me to be. I want to learn before its too late and I lose her. I want to be more motivated. I know that has to come from within, I just need to know where to find it. I do know that I am not happy with myself and I want to do more and be happier. I want the relationship with my daughter to be like Gold…solid. And I want to lose the attitude I have with her. She is only 5 and doesn’t deserve the treatment she received from me. God lead me to this site for a reason. I’m hoping that it has the tools I need to improve myself as a whole. I want to be better in all I do. But first, I want to repair and improve the type of mother that I am.