have my own apartment

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Tiisi does not share entries outside 43T & asks the same. has written 21 entries about this goal

I feel like this is completed,

even though there are some very basic items I still need. (Yes, the damn bathmat, still.) I had a friend stay over last night and as soon as she came into the apartment, she exhaled and smiled. This morning, she said it had been inspiring to her to stay at my place and realize, “Yes, this is what I want for myself. A cozy place that’s all mine.” She’s an artist and an incredibly thoughtful and present person, so her spontaneous response and words mean a lot to me.

I’ve done it. I’ve created a space that expresses who I am and who I want to be, while allowing space for expansion into a me that I haven’t yet imagined. You know what, y’all? I may be growing up.

I know I've had it

for nearly three months now, but until I have the basics in place, it feels temporary. The last two pieces I want are one or two tabletop lamps for the nightstand shelving units and a bathmat. I’m picky about bathmats, it turns out. I want a deep blue color, but not navy, and really want one of those nice microfiber ones, but don’t want to pay $25 for it!

The shelving units I’m using as nightstands look and work great. That was a big step forward. It was also fun to put Mr. Yes’s stuff on “his side” of the bed.

It's feeling more like mine

since my art hanging spree last night. Three original paintings, one original drawing, two photographs, two prints, a needlepoint representation of me by a friend and a mask from Bali now adorn my place. The mini-hall has a theme of bird paintings. I picked out spots for three other paintings and neatened up a bit. It still looks like someone is camping behind my couch and the desk is a mess, but it’s progress!

Dogsitting in a friend’s loft made me realize how much I like my little place.

I've gotten

two more paintings hung and have two large unfinished paintings of mine propped against the wall on either side of the altar. My sister is going to take the airbed and pump. I still need a receptacle for recycling. Right now I’ve got two beer boxes full of stuff to be recycled. Classy.

I’m getting my grandmother’s cedar chest to put at the foot of my bed. I don’t want to pick it up from them until my shoulder is 100% better. Once I have that, I can put the art I’m not hanging or displaying in it and the place will look much better. I might put my cold weather gear in there, too, to free up space in the drawer under the couch. It’d be nice to have fun stuff in there, to use them as “instant party” drawers.

This is more like it!

As soon as the Flexeril kicked in, I put a bulletin board up over my desk, another over my boot/high heel collection in the bedroom, a mirror by the front door and the great pic of me and my friend Jes above it. I also put the big (3’ x 4’) painting I did in 2009 in the living room over the altar table. It’s a bold statement, especially since it was my first painting of a figure, so it has some proportion mistakes. But it is a spiritual painting, so it seemed to fit.

I’ve worked out where some other paintings will go, but didn’t want to push it too hard with my shoulder still hurting. I did put almost all my loose photos into a metal bowl and put that on the coffee table. It looks great with all the photos sticking out and begging to be looked at and questioned. I see it as a great conversation piece. So glad those pics aren’t trapped in albums.

I’ve decided I don’t want classic nightstands on either side of the bed. I’m doing well with the box and shoe racks right now. I want to get either big drums or small tables – something with just a flat surface for a very few items and space for a lamp on one side. So I’ll be keeping my eyes open for something to appear that can be used as a funky nightstand.

I also took my Pleasure Boot Camp dogtag and hung it from the lock on the front door. I like that reminder to make pleasure a priority.

It won't feel entirely

like mine until the art is hung and my current spine/neck/shoulder injury is making that unlikely. I’m going to try to hang a mirror, a picture, and 2 bulletin boards tonight. If it hurts at all, I’ll stop.

I also want to find a ceramic container that I can put on the chest I’m using as a coffee table. I plan to pile loose photos in there, so I, or anyone I invite over, can pick up random bits of my life.

The closet rod

is bowing, so I’ll not be hanging anything else. I think if I get another 3 drawer plastic container, I can get my pants in there, but that leaves all of my skirts and some dresses homeless. Hmmm…not sure how to fix that. I do have some shelf space. Maybe some nice baskets?

I’m going to get a vacuum tonight; can’t wait any longer since the Great Journal Massacre left bits of paper all over the carpet. My desk is usable, needing only a few tweaks, and I’ve got all of the non-hanging art out of boxes. It was great to see some of it, though the Willow Creek figurines and soapstone thinker statue will get sold. Just not my style.

I was having an extremely sleepy day yesterday, so not as much got done as I would have liked. I think I figured out where my weights are going to live and I got the last of the giveaways in my car. I need some sort of receptacle for my recycling, too. I figured out the best spot for the mifi so I get consistent 4G, which really is much faster than what I was using before.

I cleared a chair off so I have a spot for my purse and keys to land and figured out where to put some of the glow-in-the-dark frogs (very important, that). It’s feeling more and more like mine as the clutter diminishes. And if anyone ever demands a cloth napkin, I am more than prepared. In fact, if 36 people demand cloth napkins at once, I’ll still have spares. They’re in the linen closet next to my two dozen pillowcases.

It feels so civilized

to have all my shoes away and my silverware washed and neatly contained in its own drawer. Mr. Yes was in Oakland last night, so he stopped by for a quick kiss that turned into an overnight visit. I made him a vegetarian meatball sandwich for dinner and he didn’t complain. I’ve got a toaster on the counter and my new portable countertop on the stove is making the kitchen work much better.

I’m getting some papers shredded and seeing my folks this afternoon, but I should still have several hours to get my desk in order and start figuring out where the art will live. I’m hoping to have most of Monday to wander and take pictures of things I love in my neighborhood.

I really like

making myself coffee and washing dishes. I’ve got a big bag picked out that’s going to be my work bag so I don’t find myself juggling so many little items. I made it to work in less than 30 minutes today. I even enjoy rolling along at 5mph on the tunnel approach. I found a gas station with $4.09/gallon gas that’s right at my exit. Sweet!

More importantly, I took a bath last night and it was HEAVEN. Hot water, epsom salts, darkness and a very happy me. At lunch today, I’ll check Target for a shoe rack and silverware organizer. I’d like to get the desk organized tonight so I can start using it. If I can get that done, I’ll feel well on my way to it being mine.

Am I slow?

People keep assuming I’ve gotten the apartment entirely ready by now, one week after I moved. Ummmm, not nearly. There are still boxes and pieces of art all over the place and a big box of recycling and piles of files and office supplies. I still have to step over things to get from one side of the living room to the other. The bedroom is still a mess. I have nowhere to store my skirts. One nightstand is a big empty box and the other is my stackable shoeracks.

Yesterday I had the day off, but stayed in bed catching up on sleep and then took a walk through the rose garden. I did spend several hours going through journals and email/IM printouts from the 80s through 2008. Whew! That was emotionally exhausting. I had forgotten just how near the edge I was after my husband’s death and how strained before that. Some of it was also hilarious. My friend R & I had hysterical IM conversations that were all over the map, from the deep to the ridiculous, including raps about transpersonal psychology.

I’m desperate for the tempered glass board to arrive, so I can have more counter space. I want a toaster, but don’t know where I’ll put it. I don’t have much money, but I really really want real nightstands. I’m going to break down and get a shoe rack that hangs over a door, even though they’re a bit ugly. I did get pink feather boas hung over the bed, so it definitely looks like my space now.

My sweetheart stayed over on Sunday. It was heaven to wake up next to him on a weekday. Heaven.

Tiisi does not share entries outside 43T & asks the same. has gotten 11 cheers on this goal.


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