drink less alcohol

Have committed to going to an AA meeting tonight. Spent 7 of the last 8 days in a tavern. I am horribly scared, but cannot seem to stop on my own. Yes, very scared indeed.

I failed miserably this weekend and tried to justify it with being so soon after a break-up and being hurt by a friend. It is what it is though and this justifying it is worse because it means that I know it is wrong to drink so very much and I feel the need to make excuses.

as not doing what is best for me. I have spent entirely too much time at the bar again lately. I excuse it when I get there as seeing friends, but then I stay and stay. I would consider seeking help, but honestly don’t know that I am ready to make the changes I know will be necessary. So then what? Keep on doing this? Urgh!

I have sent an email to galpals inviting them to a Not Book Club night at my apartment. I think part of my matter is that once I am at the bar, I don’t want to leave because friends are there and we are having fun. Having them at my place should in theory alleviate this. The first night we’ll watch AB FAB episodes and then next time we’ll watch a movie or chat or whatever. There’s sort of a hodgepodge of people from different parts of my life so not everyone will know each other and that will be good too. It’s byob(if they choose)and I will have snacks. Hooray!

“Books give me itchy eyes darling”
~ Eddy Monsoon
Absolutely Fabulous

Have been stopping at the tavern for one beer and going home, I say hello and unwind after work and get out. That has been hard to do, but forcing myself to go home after one beer is easier than after three.

coming out for a drink”, I told a friend last night. I know I could just go to the local rotgut shop and drink a soda, but the harrassment right now would be too much. I spoke to a different friend last night who asked about my weekend and I said I wasn’t coming out this weekend to get myself back together. I waited for the response, and to my happy surprise, she said she understood. She, too wants to get her head, money and body back to boozeless. I suggested we check online for cool things to do and we are going to do this week by week and see how things go for a month. Hooray!

Yesterday a body was found near Madison, WI, USA and thought to be that of a college student who disappeared after a night of drinking with her friends.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/10/body.found.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch

I have got to stop drinking for a month and vow to myself today to stop for a month and see what happens. Entirely too many things in my life include alcohol and my self-medicating is a serious problem. Last night falling down on the way home was it and a woman in her 30’s should know better… and I really do. I need to focus on my fella and school and get everything else right and alcohol has been wrecking things.