My tactic of managing this has been avoiding this. If you never do any mistakes, no one can’t critizie you. And by being your own severest critic no one can ever say what you haven’t already said to your self.
smart huh? or not..
Someday someone will and then you’re so untrained for it that you break apart. I’ve tried, not worth the trouble.
Solution? Don’t listen if it doesn’t help you to be better. Takes a LOT of training though. I’m getting there, slowly.
I couldn’t. If he had just stopped a minute earlier I might have managed to restrain myself. But no. I cried. I felt useless. I managed to get home, and then cried even more.
I’ve come no where with this goal. I’m just as weak as before. Apparently I’ve been doing everything right so far and it just took one setback and I am back to where I started.
I am so pathetic! It’s only human to feel a little bad after criticism, but why do I have to cry so much and feel so completely useless? And this time it was constructive criticism as well!
I don’t know what to do. I just can’t handle it. I try not to take it personally, but I do, every time. And even though I know the difference between good or bad critique and that it’s only meant to help me I still cry.
It was a long time since I felt like breaking apart because of criticism. But I can’t cross it off until I’ve had some kind of final test. When I’m able to take a huge amount with coolness.
Mrs Critique (as we can call her for now) arrived. She works like a tornado – fast and aggressive. It is hard to keep up with her, but I try my best. She is very concerned about details and corrects every single “mistake”.
I have kept my mood up; never let her get to me, just doing what she says is right. I have met her comments with a smile and “thank you, I will do so immediately”. At times I have actually appreciated her being so honest instead of thinking “oh, she does everything wrong” in her head and correcting the mistakes behind my back.
Then today something amazing happened. She asked me how long I had been working there. I said just two weeks. Then she said: Really? I think you do a great job.
There was an honesty in the way she said it, like she was really surprised that it was such a short time. My confidence peaked. If she can admit that I’m good, then it must be true :) Perhaps the way I handled the criticism is a part of it.
Apparently an extremely critical person has come home from vacation at work. I have been warned by several co-workers that she can be cold, angry and complains about everything you do and that I shouldn’t take it personal. Since she has worked there for ages there is not much to say in defence either.
I will take this as an opportunity to train my ability of knowing when the critique is constructive and ignore the rest.
Since I have got a job where I have no previous experience I do mistakes all the time. They are harmless, but still, I need and got people around me to see what I do wrong and give me directions. Literally speaking: they have to “criticise” me so that I can do a better job.
Even though I hate it, and often break apart because of it, I have sincerely tried to take it rationally, not emotionally. It still sucks, but I think I’m on my way. My self-esteem isn’t broken, yet, which has mostly to do with the fact that my critics are kind. But I also like to believe that it’s because I have set my mind on doing a good job and openly embrace all advice I can get to achieve that :)
I try so hard not to take it personally, get emotional and cry that I miss the constructive parts meant to help me. I’m afraid that I am a bit of a perfectionist, not that I crave anything of others, but a lot from myself! I want to do everything right. But mistakes are the greatest source of learning and I need to be able to handle them.