fall in love with someone who loves me too

go out on a breakfast date yesterday with the man in question. it was a bit awkward, he’s tired, I’m tired….

the man in question does not have the courtesy to return a phone call. It’s pretty rude. It doesn’t take any time to return a phone call.
I feel a gamut of emotions, sad, annoyed irritated and of course I feel sort of like someone hoodwinked me.
But well…onwards.
It is a little frustrating, but in the end none of it really matters.
Image is a little dramatic, but its what I found.

I have entirely given up…
Dr X gave me a nice ride on his Harley yesterday. He then asked me to get him something on my trip and gave me his phone number.
Also got me a very nice coffee mid day, and a few other things.
Now he could step up to the plate a little better and actually ask me out, but….I guess not.

as I shouldnt leave stuff hanging.

Person of interest did call back at work yesterday very worried that something was terribly wrong with me. oops.
Had an OK conversation. Towards the end, I apparently hit a trigger point and got dead air on phone (oops). This sort of triggered intense anxiousness in me.
Won’t be doing that again. Will see Person of interest at work in a few weeks.
Not feeling it though. At this point, i just want relief from all the anxiety, and I am thinking sticking my head into the sand may be the better option!

and of course had to speak with the receptionist. She was nice, a little nosy, like all good receptionists.

I hope he calls back. My stomach hurts and I feel sort of sad about the whole thing. I did not expect him to answer the phone or anything, nor did I expect the receptionist to just hand the phone over to him.

BUt now I just have blank and empty space waiting….

Well, if it is a rejection, perhaps this will give me time to work on the younger, but very single and attractive trainer at the gym. Not my trainer who is a nice girl….but the guy….
Unfortunately I have to eat lunch and i feel like vomiting instead!!!!

So, we got the work schedule today. I do not work with the person of interest until August 20th. Thats a long long time.

I definitely think this man is interested in me. I also know there is a lot of drama going on in his life (Mediation about custody of children with ex wife…)so he is not all together focused on me.

I’m toying with the idea of calling him. Unfortunately I only have his other work number, so I’d have to call there, talk to the secretary and most likely leave a message. I can think of no plausible excuse to call except to say hi and see how he is…

I keep thinking….just call, because I don’t want to miss out on this opportunity. Then the other part of me thinks I dont want to freak him out, but then again… I think I am making this unnecessarily complicated.
i just don’t want to wait 20 days. It seems an entire lifetime can be lived in just one day sometimes.
Help?

Have not seen hide nor hair of the particular person I mentioned in my last post, but…that person called work today and the crafty Secretary made me talk to him on the phone. We chatted for a while about general stuff, and then as we were saying goodbye I said well, i guess I’ll see you when your up here, and he said, yes I will then he said ” and I hope its soon.” I said Oh, ok…and then said, I hope its soon too….
But then I just hung up like an idiot.
I wonder how long we will keep bumping about in this awkwardly odd way. I have also spent most of the day wondering why I didn’t take that comment and say something more normal or whatever.
Golly I am bad bad bad at this. Not feeling very confident about the whole thing.

I spent 1-2 hours talking with someone at work the other day. Rarely do we get uninterrupted hours to chat. (I mean I work in an Emergency Department, and Emergencies or percieved emergencies tend to occur!)
After a while, it was mentioned by the Secretary that myself and this man seemed to be really enjoying ourselves. The triage Nurse remarked that we “looked like we belonged together” and one of the techs said “You guys would make the perfect perfect couple” So of course that lead to a different train of thought. One moment I am enjoying conversation….the next.
He hung around for a while after his shift was complete talking to me and then just left. My Doctor talked with me about this today saying people tend not to hang out after work unless they want to…etc etc etc.
He’s not on the Schedule for the rest of July. :( My Doctor said, “Just go find him” I don’t know how. And I am unsure if the attraction was actually mutual, or if he was passing the time…If I knew of a way to find him, I probably would. Since I don’t I am hoping the schedule changes, and reminding myself that july is only 7 days longer, and perhaps he will be on the schedule for August.
Aaaaagh. This is the first time in a very long time that I have really wanted to spend more time with someone. I hope I’m not setting myself up for heartbreak with everything else going on now, I feel a bit fragile.

that attracts Overweight, obese men to me. Now, I have a lot of friends who are overweight etc, but I really don’t get it. When I am not working, I run, swim or work out….I have not seen a movie since june 2007, I don’t really like to eat out. I don’t have a desire to reform anyone etc either, so what on earth would I have in common with these men? (Admittedly I am not a deep person, I run eat, sleep, work.)
and I gave him my number because I couldn’t think of any way to say no nicely. Insane.
I’d love to go out just for fun, but people never seem to function on a just for fun basis. I know I really don’t.
Now, I have a stomach ache.
I have my eye on two other men right now.

during my Mega long session regarding food, the Doctor asked me if I wanted to be in love again. I thought it was odd. He didnt ask if I wanted to be in a relationship, or get married or anything, just if I wanted to be in love.
Interesting question. I am not sure. In theory it sounds nice, but the reality is usually a little different. I’m keeping the goal, but it may be futile, as people tend to want to hook up with people who don’t have messy lives.