Find balance.

to balance out my life between work, training, and basic tasks, I forced myself to go to toyota of orlando today for an oil change. There were actually 2 recalls on my car which was not a surprise to me, its a 2009 toyota Prius, it has had a lot of recalls. Most of the fixes dont do anything. This one though was some sort of water pump, and a drive shaft. I told the guy to do it and we agreed I would be done at 4 pm. I left there at 4:46. Was unable to go to the running store for my supplies for tomorrows run :( Sad face. So 4 hours spent at a car dealership. Arrrugh. Not balanced! Well at least this morning I managed to download all the episodes of castle that someone wanted to share with me, so thats ready for tomorrow…and I did the dishes and folded laundry and cleaned the coffee counter…and did my workout.

Currently I am always kind of busy at work- you know I see people posting up on FB while they are at work, and such like that. I never have time for that, even if it were allowed.

Secondly, I am training for a Marathon, and that is taking up quite a bit of my time.

So what is getting missed…All those silly things:
Oil Changes
Dishes
Some laundry
gifts on time for people.
Etc etc etc.

This month I got better at getting bills paid. I am also working on doing a small task in the morning before work, and that seems to be helping- something like putting some laundry away…

I have been now in my new job for a month. The job is so challenging that it is taking up SO much of my time. I am finding myself not wanting to do some of the other things that I am obsessed with normally. (ie: i don’t want to run.)

Some interactions with people have been very difficult, the difficulties caused by myself and also the other people. And I realized today that I am actually depressed- which is probably why I don’t want to go running or anything else.

So….as anyone with Depression knows, the answer is not to retreat but to continue to move in the right direction. So I will need to head out to the gym today regardless of how I feel. I had been seeing it as “taking a break” but now I realize that it is not that I need a break, it’s just that my depression is causing me apathy.

I thought I was getting it, but then…

It’s not balance I need, it is a complete SLoooowing down of life. Everything just keeps happening faster and faster and faster….

I am feeling this intense need for time to myself.
It’s gotten so strange that my actual Job feels like a complete intrusion on my life.
Most of my days off though are being spent running about taking care of details for my new job and my resignation. SO…
I think maybe after I settle into the new Job and get through my moms visit I will be back into a regular lifestyle.
WOrking for A Seventh Day Adventist Organization has helped, as they oddly stress balance for their employees, so that it is emphasized frequently. (I’m not a 7th Day Adventist myself). So glad I am continuing to work for the SDA’s Even in if their art is a little odd.

I ran alot more than I have in a long time. I have to say, I felt way more balanced than I have in a long time.
Yay.

i feel distinctly unbalanced again.
I’m doing a lot of work…a lot of driving, and a lot of visiting Physicians. None of this is what I want to be doing. I want time to settle the house, play with the dog and I want to be running, instead of seeing Dr smarty pants.
I do need to do a little Over time here and there to try to make sure that I’m saving money properly, and able to pay the mortgage. I also need to continue with the docs for my leg, and the driving is getting me to work and the doc.
I have a feeling this is going to change at some point soon however….its a good feeling.

Feeling a bit unbalanced today, I think it’s because I know in less than 15 days i need to move, and to me its a little stressful. The moving itself isn’t bad, whats annoying is getting 2-3 good people organized with big vehicles to assist me. I’m looking forward to settling into my new place, but I’m worried about the closing and getting there.
and also worried about my lose ten pounds goal and my dog, and well, things seem sort of out of kilter. I think if I just hang on, it will all right itself…
right?

very Zen at the moment.

I’ve got an offer out on the house, and am so scared that I’ll somehow run out of cash…
(must work some Overtime this week (4-6 hours)
I’m not liking the way work assignments are going, but I’m also not sure I want to address it.

I’m not bouncing back from Injury very quickly…as my “long run” hasn’t even hit 5 miles yet….

And I have not been out on a decent date in a while…though that could change…
Grrrrr.
I want more balance in my life, but I am not sure I know how, or if I have the energy to get it….

balanced, I need to make time for my social life to occur. I am doing well on my other balance, exersise, work, study, and rest…
I just need to add in a few “outings” and then This goal, and the “be more social goal” can be marked off!

image is Debra Van Auten.