be the change i want to see in the world

I started doing internet research about opening my own soup kitchen, which, boils down to opening my own non profit. So, Thursday I am meeting a friend at Barnes & Noble for coffee and going to look at books on how possible it is to do that. I was talking about it with some people and the more I spoke about it, the more I wanted it, but more importantly, the more RIGHT it felt. Its kind of like the peace corp. I have wanted it for so long, its always been right here. Now, its time to take the steps and see if I can make it happen.
I want to serve breakfast at mine to start. There is a church that serves lunch and Friends of Night People serves dinner, essentially, if I can get one going for breakfast, the city of Buffalo can provide 3 square meals a day for those in need within a 3 mile radius. If I can find a place (church or building) that could accommodate…lets start with the basics first.

Why do we want to do this? Law of averages says we are the exception. Keep using canvas bags, recycling, being nice…I am tired. So tired. In this last year I feel like I have been trampled on, taken advantage of, cheated on and the best was discriminated against for no other reason than, well, she could. If we are the change, what about the people who dont want to be? Blatantly rude, dont care about anyone, destroy what others have for their own personal gain, people? CEO’s and companies who ask poor americans to bail them out and give 6 figure bonuses to the already rich, government budgets cutting homeless and mental illness programs and libraries, but here in Buffalo, if you are on public assistance and have kids, you get a credit card with $300 per child to help with school expenses. No monitoring, here it is, your $300 credit card. Oh yeah, and a cell phone with minutes, voice mail and texts. Free while you’re on assistance. BUT, P and I send my 80 year old friend extra money every month so she can afford to eat the whole month.
WHAT CHANGE? Has anyone seen change? Has anyone seen one flipping change?

I made my 11th kiva loan last night. Ilhom Mirzohakimov is a baker from Tajikistan. I have a fondness in my heart for bakers. Anyone who handles food really. So, good luck to you Ilhom.

Monday, Julie, Al, P and I went to dinner at a mexican place and talked about our jobs. Well, Julie and I did. I told her I was researching what it would take to open my own soup kitchen, but more than a soup kitchen. I told her there was a place in a big city that inspired me and I would try to remember it and let her know. Then it hit me, I had put it on here, 5 months ago.
I wanted to re-enter it for people to see so they can see my most favorite video on you tube, PLUS, they can see what makes me happy and what one day I aspire to be. THIS, is who I want to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3AOzj7mVNQ

http://www.environmentalleader.com/2009/07/29/timberland-adidas-follow-nike%E2%80%99s-lead-ban-use-of-amazon-leather/

These companies are NOT using leather who raise their cattle on the destruction of the Amazon—-Nike, Timberland and Adidas. 80% of the deforestation of the Amazon is due to sustaining and feeding cattle that are to be used as leather in the garment industry.

The following companies do not care. PLEASE put image aside and give a damn about the future of the world instead of the name on your purse until these companies start to care. Write a quick email. Be the change people.
Wal-Mart, Boss, Gucci, Kraft, Louis Vuitton, Eagle Ottawa (supplier of car interiors to major car companies), Geox, Hilfiger, IKEA and Prada.

I love fair trade. I believe, personally, that every person should be paid what they are worth for the product they are providing. Not $.50 a day, not $100 a year, what they are worth. So, following that, I try to buy fair trade whenever I can. Sure, sometimes its a little more expensive, but, if it was your family struggling to make ends meet, you would hope someone would realize the effort and work that went into it and that you also need to feed your family, right? Well, yesterday, P and I were at Premiere Liquor buying wine for her birthday party and there was a nice display for fair trade wines from South America. It showed the farming and picking process. To top it off it was only $10 a bottle. We thought that was a good price (I dont drink so usually have no idea). So, we bought a red and a white.
That made me happy and was considered my find of the day.
Here is the one we bought. :) So happy.
http://www.organicwinetradecompany.com/brands/wines/step-by-step-cabernet-sauvignon.html

Every year we see this place on the news called the Response to Love center. Its a food pantry and soup kitchen and cool place all wrapped in 1. I emailed Sister Johnice yesterday to ask about helping with Thanksgiving and Christmas because I am sure they book up early. So, we are helping with Thanksgiving. Also, I decided that this will be the agency that gets all of the homemade baked goods that my church and town residents gather to donate so homeless people have real life baked goods for dessert. I make the Benedict House 1 of the places, its an 18 resident home for people living with AIDS. We always have so much left over, I take the rest to a place that helps people who are hungry. So, this year, its the Response to Love Center. Im glad I got some planning in ahead of time, makes things easier. Im going to put up a list of non parishable things they are looking for here at the hospital and maybe the holiday spirit will move some people to donate some canned goods and paper products. My heart was so happy yesterday. I love doing this stuff. This is what I was born for. I wanted to let everyone know so maybe you can plan ahead and do a little something for those with no place to go or family at the holiday time. Hope you feel inspired!

Made another KIVA loan. I realized once you get so many, the repayment plan lets you re-loan about every month or so. Im a little torn on this one. I was so excited to see someone from Mongolia that I jumped on it and only after did I realize that it was for his timber/lumber business. My mouth dropped and my coworker Rhonda looked at me and said “NO you didnt”.
Crap. Im glad I could help but this one is gonna eat at me.
I wish him well anyway. Everyone deserves food, a warm bed and a better life. Everyone.

Not so much in that you may someday want to work for that company again, but its the right thing to do. I dont want particularly LOVE my job, but its alright. Some days are cool. I would want the person to come after me to start out on a better foot than I did. The girl who trained me didnt like me so she told me all of the wrong things to do so when she left and I did them, I was constantly “talked to”. When I said it was the way Kerry trained me, they all told me I must have misunderstood. Almost 3 years later, my work blows hers out of the water and some of the doctors have come around and realized I wasnt lying.
So, if I get any of the jobs I am interviewing for, I started keeping a training manual for the next person. You want to give someone all the tools they can to succeed, right? This is what is wrong with the world. We DONT want other people to succeed because we want to be remembered. Truth is, in 6 months or a year, you’ll be lucky if the people you once worked with will rememeber your full name. “oh yeah, Tara…..something. Tall girl with glasses.” That will be my claim to fame. You have to decide to be ok with that. You have moved on to bigger and better things, this new person, this is their bigger and better thing. How would you feel if the person you were taking over for at your new job set you up for failure. 3 months into your awesome new job, its not so awesome and affecting your homelife.
So, Im making a manual and trying to make things as easy as possible for when I leave. This way, its not just easier for the new person and better for MY karma, but it helps me sleep at night knowing that I did the right thing. Its not always about doing the right thing when people are aware and watching. Its about doing the right thing when no one is watching and doing it because basically, its the right thing.

I have trying to stay out of other people’s business. By this I mean if people are fighting, I usually ask the person being yelled at or threated if they are ok and get right in there because I dont feel like I can just stand there and stare like everyone else. Those are the people who cause accidents at accidents by staring while not driving but refuse to pull over because they dont want to get involved.
The house in front of us is a People Inc house. It is for developmentally disabled and mentally retarded people who are able to live in group homes, but not alone. We have NO problems, every once in awhile, someone pulls the fire alarm and P and I go over to make sure everyone is ok. Once it happened it at like 3am and 3 of them just kept screaming “IT WASNT ME”. Kind of funny. We were glad everyone was ok. So, at 545am today, I hear yelling. I figured it was them though they have never been out that early. The more I thought about it, it was early and if I could hear yelling over 2 fans, it was probably louder than I thought. So, I got up. I turn off the fans and hear a kid SCREAMING and crying; sobbing. I start looking around out all of the windows and when I get to the livingroom window, some man is beating the hell out of some 7/8 year old kid on his front lawn. On the side of our buildings are woods and old train tracks where kids go to drink, fool around, etc. Last month someone robbed a bank and ran back there and tried to hide the money before a chopper and canine police found him…fun times. This man starts dragging the kid back there. Im looking around going, “someone called already, right? right? They had too”. So I wait and wait and wait. Kid is screaming and more people start screaming and Im still waiting. Im thinking if this guy has no problem beating a kid on the front lawn, god knows what he would do to me. So finally I call. “If you come here you will hear the kid screaming for his life and a man beating him, PLEASE hurry.”
Sirens within the minute. Guy drags kid inside. 3 cars, then 4, then 5. They sat there for 40 minutes while I got ready for work and when I left, 2 were still there, but the police were outside. The whole time Im trying to tell myself it was ok to get involved and help this kid, but what gets me is, after all of that, they left and didnt take the kid or the dad.
P said I did what I could. But honestly, all I keep thinking is they left that kid there. If I had stuck my nose in it, maybe he would have hit me and I could have pressed charges. God knows an 8 year old cant.
Whats the point of being the change you want to see in the world if the rules dont allow the change to follow. Apparently more kids have to die or get hurt for it be serious enough to do something about a man beating his kid on the front lawn.
But by the way, its still a really bad idea to let gay and lesbian couples to foster or adopt kids.