if I knew I couldnt fail, I would....

Too bad I quit Barnes and Noble a few years back…

A cool one like LOST. Too bad its ending. Lie to Me would be good. Great show. Ive always wanted to do that. I even took English as my first major in college, but I heard that if you dont go to an ivy league school, dont think about writing for tv.
Buffy would have been cool too.

quit my job with great happiness while giving the division chief a piece of my mind, move to a place like Cape Cod or along the eastern seaboard where I could smell the ocean from my home (the one that looks like the house in Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock). Have a greenhouse and plant my own garden of vegetables and sustain myself and compost. Sell organically made lotions and soaps while having enough money to send to the organizations I want to support each month AND still open my own soup kitchen so I could feed the hungry and warm the cold. Oh yeah and still be able to have a baby…a little Eli. Complete with black glasses and cape (like his mom). :)
Well, of course Id go big if I knew I couldnt fail. This isnt amateur hour.

here is the link that has the entire house including the inside.
http://www.amasveritas.com/film/setting/index.html

open my own flower shop. As it stands now, I really dont know anything about flowers.
But to take it further, I would have a greenhouse, plant and grow herbs and flowers so I know they are organic and chemical free AND not destroying land of a valuable resource, then using them in my shop.
Thats very overachiever isnt it?
Someday at least, I want my own greenhouse, I always have.

Of course it would have its own rain barrel, did you forget who you are talking to?

change my name, change my identity and run away so that no one would ever find me. Find a place in the country, have a veggie garden, grow herbs and use them to make my own organic, natural soaps and lotions and sell them in a small store front. Sit on my front porch swing every night and read a book while I eat, not worry about family, credit cards, getting a master’s so that I can “be someone”.
It would have to be a place with some water and wildlife reserves. I have to birdwatch and kayak. Maybe even Ireland or New Zealand…..that would be nice.

probably cinematography. I LOVE when a movie has great cinematography. The colors, the pans; everything about it that makes me want to look at it everyday. I thought I could direct someday, but thats not really a goal. Either cinematograhy or location scout. I have always wanted to do either one of those. Who even knows what the hell you take in college to do either of those things.

I would be a photographer for National Geographic.

Breathtaking. Amazing. Most of the time, once in a lifetime shots.

I live on Lake Erie and the Niagara River which barely separates us fom Canada. We can literally see Canadians walking down their streets thats how close we are. Down the canal there is a rowing team that rows everyday. There is an organization you can join and I have always wanted to learn to row. Maybe one day when I get my weight down more. Everyone knows that while a rowing team loves a good, tall girl, they love a thinner, tall girl even better.

Last night P and I were driving to our date night, which is every Wednesday. She asked me what I would like to do or get good at. I told her a few things and then decided that I would list them here because they made me happy to think about them. “its not so much failing, its trying to get past the awkwardness of being new and the perseverance to stick with it long enough to know that once you keep doing it, you’ll get better” is what P said to me. I agree. Some of these things I have done and would love the opportunity to do again as an older, wiser, gentler person who appreciates more of life and what that experience at that percise moment has to offer.

1. Kayak. I want to learn to kayak. P said she would help me find a class instead of a “demo” by the local EMS.
2. Run. I have tried to motivate myself outside of wii running but I am afraid of people laughing or making fun of me. I am afraid of disappointing myself and I am afraid that even if I do it, I wont be as good as I used to be. P said to try it one way and then another until I find what fits. “Are you forgetting that you are the one who taught ME to breathe while running. You have it, you just are so wrapped up in failure and what others think. At least youre doing it.”
3. Take the GRE. I plan on doing that, but maybe I could concentrate better if I knew Id do well and get accepted to a decent school.
And finally,
4. Ride horses again. As I thought of this goal the love of horses took over me again. That same love I discovered as a kid and have secretly harbored since. My mom joked that most kids drop the pony obsession at about 8 or 9 and who knew 30 years later, I would still complain about never getting a pony. I love being around them, touching them, riding them. I know this sounds gay, but horses and I are kindred spirits. If I had a chance, I would start riding again with hopes of one day owning a farm and some horses. This pic is from this persons flickr page…wanted to give credit for an amazing photo. www.flickr.com/photos/vangral/538709178/

Im not saying I wouldnt look like an ass or that it wouldnt take seriously hard work, but if you knew you had the chance to do something and ultimately led to success, what would that deep down wish be….