make a list of 100 things that make me happy.

coach pulled three of us aside after practice today and told us that we are the captains for this year. : )

• h, who is 6’7”, guarded me at first. he said, “don’t shoot. you know you’ll get denied.” two seconds later, i scored a three point shot. : ) j yelled at him.
• i scored twice on j by cutting quickly through the key. h yelled at him, “who has caitlin ?!” haha. j said, “you’re lucky you caught me when i was winded.”
• i scored a shot in the outside corner on j. he said, “what the…since when do you…” it made me so happy. : ) i recently started playing guard (for the first time ever !) instead of forward, and he didn’t know this, so he wasn’t expecting me to be able to shoot outside.

• my three’s were hot at the scrimmage this morning.
• i had a lovely little date last night. : )

wearing tin foil to chipotle and getting a free burrito. going to meijer and riding the penny pony. getting yelled at in walmart. finding a postsecret book at barnes and noble. hanging with my homies. :)

today i discovered that they sell mustaches in the 50c machine at drugmart. :)

a friend texting to check up on me when they can tell i’ve had a rough day.

driving home from the school by myself, blasting and singing along to some joan jett.

• today jeremy came up behind me in the lunch line to give me a hug. we got talking about the football game, and i told him that when i saw his mum, she had started touching my hair and saying, “your hair’s so pretty !” and making me all smiley:) he said, “did she ? every time there’s a sporting event or whatever, and my dad see’s you, he comes home saying, ‘TwigZ is getting better looking ! she’s gotten better looking since the last game i saw her at ! she’s always getting better looking !’ that’s all i hear from him !”
  awwww:) i love that family.
• as i was telling my mum and brother about this, my brother said, “yeah ? well i was talking to this girl in one of my classes and i was telling her about how you’re jealous of chloe because she’s super nice and super beautiful, and the girl said, ‘she’s not that nice, and caitlin needs to shutup because she’s gorgeous.”
  i love people:)
• i want to say THANK YOU to everyone. this has certainly been a warm welcome back, and i’m so grateful:) thank you so much ! :D

NOTE: i don’t expect anyone to read this because it’s horrendously long, and i, myself, haven’t read it in a hella long time, so i’m sure a lot has changed. but if you have questions about things, then just ask:)

• ok so there’s this guy named taylor. and he’s a whole hell of a lot of fun. we played a game of horse with garry, and we had like a secret bet thing. if i won, he had to do whatever i wanted him to and vice versa. garry was our third party person whom we each told what the other person had to do. taylor told garry that he didn’t have anything for me to do. i didn’t know that until a few days after we played, so i asked him about it, and he just said that he didn’t wanna tell garry, so he lied haha. anyway, i beat taylor at horse (on layups. wowzers.), and my end of the bet was that he had to fight me because he’s always on about how we’re gonna fight (kidding, of course. he wouldn’t hit a girl – he’s all gung ho about you don’t treat girls bad because his dad walked out on his mom, and he hates him for it.) so i tried to fight him in the arby’s parking lot, and he ran away from me haha. oh, and this little freshman, rachel, in his study hall that he’s never seen before gave him a note saying that he’s the coolest person she’s ever seen haha. also, mallon lives in a gated community with a lake and a pool and all that good stuff, and this short, fat security guard who’s gotten complaints against him because he pulls over teenaged girls is stalking her. i went to the mall, the movies, and arby’s with taylor and mallon on friday, may 29 (which was last night as i am typing this). we saw drag me to hell (it was stupid, but most scary movies are. we had fun scaring the piss out of each other though. :)), and on the way home, taylor said something to piss me off, so i grabbed the steering wheel and swerved us a bit (here come the lectures). not a whole lot. just a little. no cars were coming from either direction. mallon screamed, and taylor freaked out a bit, too. i felt really bad afterwards because i didn’t mean to scare them that much. taylor was like, “oh, you owe me now!” he said i owed him a hug, so when we were in my driveway, i leaned over to give him a hug, and he wouldn’t let me go! haha. this paragraph may seem really random, but i’m just stating things that one would need to know in order to understand the rest of the entry. anyway, mallon has been telling me for about a week or so that taylor and i would be a really cute couple. i keep saying, “whatever, mallon! if i thought that he liked me, then i’d go for it. but i don’t think he does.” she kept saying that she thought that he did, and she was gonna hook us up. so after taylor dropped me off at my house, he took mallon home, and here is an excerpt of a conversation that i had with her:
  mallon: he likes you !!!!!! hahahahaha i knew it ! man i’m good !
  me: whatev. :P what’d you guys talk about?
  mallon: u ! lol i’m not even kidding i was like so since you get to share ur opinion about travis i’m just saying i think u and caitlin would be good together and he just started smiling n i was like aw do u like her and he was like maybe n i was like aw u do n i was like well one things for sure she’d treat u good and he was like yeah lol i think so too…i was like u seem happy around her n he was like yeah maybe n he had this big smile on his face=))
  me: aww:) mallon, you are good
  mallon: lol i know right =)
  me: that does make me quite happy haha :)
  mallon: lol i thought it would
  me: definitely:)
  here’s a conversation that i had with taylor at the same time that i was talking to mallon:
  me: hey, taylor ?
  taylor: yes mam :)
  me: i just want you to know that you’re the coolest person i’ve ever seen:)
  taylor: lol hahaha thank you very much. you know i’ve been getting a lot of that lately for some reason. it must be true…maybe not lol
  me: you’re very welcome:) well me and mallon think it’s true, so it must be. that rachel girl is one smart cookie haha
  taylor: lol she must be. that’s really weird though that she wrote me a note. i’m almost 18 i don’t do notes lol i don’t even remember what she looked like lol oh we got stopped in [the gated community that mallon lives in] and it was mallon’s stalker guy.
  me: i’m gonna start walking you all the way to study hall bc i wanna see her haha. and really ? ew. what’d you get stopped for ?
  taylor: well i was supposedly going 32. i was almost pissed off. he pulled me over and asked do you know what you were doing and i just stared at him. and then he didn’t give me a ticket. i was ready to protect :) i’m very defensive of my girls so any guy ever does anything to you let me know :) i mean that. you should walk with me to study hall. i don’t want to be mean to her but idk maybe i should write a note and just say something so she doesn’t stalk me lol
  me: aww thanks taylor:) i will. for sure. and i really will walk you to study hall if you want. and yeah, you really might wanna do that.
  taylor: what should i say i like music too. don’t talk to me lol you should walk me to study hall for the rest of the year :) all 4 days :) i’m eating cookie dough right now. i like to get the ones where you bake and they’re already in pieces and i eat the dough lol i mean that you’re under my wing even though you almost killed me lol :)
  me: i dunno ? tell her that you don’t wanna talk to her or tell her you have a girlfriend or something. ok i will:) thank you :) and i’m really sorry! if i would’ve known that it would’ve freaked you guys out so much, i definitely wouldn’t have done it.
  taylor: it’s cool you owe me another hug. i’ll have you walk with me and ill say you see that hot piece of ass shes my woman :) oh actually that’s what my thing was if i won the bet. it was a hug. think about what i said that one time. lol. thats really what it was so i want another one :)
  me: hot piece of ass ? hehehe. you’re a goof. why would you bet a hug if you get those free whenever you want ? i’ll hug you on monday…and not let go like you did haha
  taylor: yes that’s what ill say is that see that girl thats my hot piece of ass :) you better on monday :) i should have bet something else since i can get a hug whenever i want :)
  me: haha wow. imagine her face. poor freshman…oh well, i typically don’t like them. and yeah, you really should’ve…i still don’t get why you didn’t just tell garry that you bet a hug. and we’re still going to fight, and you’re not gonna run!
• taylor calling me babycakes:)
• excerpt from conversation with taylor on may 31. approx 12:30 a.m.
  taylor: damnit i fell asleep. i still need to study :(
  me: haha i figured you did. i’m making my notecard now and writing ridiculously small.
  taylor: math sucks. fuckin stupid 3 day exam :( that’s a lot. i just had a dream about you. no joke :)
  me: i concur. fuckin kev. he’s getting tped this summer. fer sher. haha oh really ? what’d that consist of ?
  taylor: he is but we will have to be fast. he’ll run out there lol. it was a stupid dream. it sucked. it wasn’t good. my first dream was scary, and steven was in it, and we were riding the quad through the wooks. then the one with you was weird. you started fighting your sister, only it wasn’t. idk who it was. weird dreams. :(
  me: ooh i forgot about that. i’m REALLY slow. haha. did the first dream involve a psycho bitch with different colored eyes ? :) i thought you were gonna say we had sex or something, and i was gonna laugh at you hehe. i wish i could remember my dreams. i almost always forget them.
  taylor: i wish we would have had sex. it was weird. the first one was scary. i’m still a little shaky :( i was watching a thing on crimes, and before i watched hollywood tragedies. scared the fuck out of me lol. hate scary dreams. hope when i go back to sleep i don’t have another scary dream. need a good dream :)
  me: i’ve only ever had a few scary dreams. but i have a lot of sad dreams. i cry in my sleep a lot. i’ll wake up, and i’ll be all teary. i hate it. crying is my least favorite thing. i hate it. a lot. think about good things so you have a good dream:)
  taylor: aww that’s sad :( well if you have a dream and can’t get back to sleep, call me :) no matter what time. i don’t have too many dreams that are sad. well there was one that i had not too long ago. i’ll tell you about it. i never told anyone about it. i had a dream that i was younger and playing with my dad. it was a good dream cuz it never happened in real life. then at the end he said i love you. that was a sad dream. i have a lot of scary ones. usually none are good :(
  me: ok:) ditto! hehe. and taylor that is a really, really, sad one. :( i’m sorry. and that’s not good. the scary dreams that i have are scary when i have them, but then i wake up and wonder why i was so scared.
  taylor: that wasn’t a good one especially when i woke up cuz i thought it was true for a second. but i usually die in scary ones and mine are really scary. i wish i could just have a sex dream for a change haha. i can’t wait for these 4 [school] days to be done wiht. i’m done with school. can’t do it anymore lol
  me: aww:( i couldn’t even imagine that. wow. :( i don’t think i’ve ever had a sex dream or a dream where i died. but once for like two weeks straight i had makeout dreams. that was interesting. i’m so ready for school to be done with, too. i don’t think i’ve ever anticipate summer break this much. movie nights and parties:) yay !
  taylor: you know i don’t think i’ve ever wanted summer break sooner :) i’m not a big fan of school. don’t like it too much. i just wanna be out and relax. friday is gonna be a nice day cuz everything will be done with. i’m just gonna lay and watch a movie or something. i bet this summer ends up going by quick. :( i’m kinda excited to see what all happens this summer :)
  me: i think i have to help my grandma move friday:( booo. i’m excited to see what will happen, too:) i don’t typically mind school, but this last month has been bad. mostly precalc and chem. yuck. this summer will be awesome. we have a season’s worth of games, and a lot of open gyms. :) i hope it doesn’t go by too quick. it probably will though.
  taylor: yeah this last month i zone out, and i don’t even hear what is going on lol. i just want it over. if there is one thing i hate doing more than anything, it’s waking up early in the morning. i’m always cold and tired. i just want to cuddle up and go to sleep. it’s a bitch waking up. like right now i still have to look at stuf, but i’m tired and cold :( there’s a couple people i’m glad i won’t have to see for a while, too :) i get a little sick of seeing some people, but not all :)
  me: i don’t mind getting up early that much, but i also have a normal sleeping schedule haha. but i’m always cold when i wake up, too. i hate that. i won’t miss a lot of the drama that happened…but i get to spend basically all of june and july with my least favorite person. ick. but there’s going to be plenty of awesome people that i’ll see, too:)
  taylor: lol yeah a normal sleeping schedule would be nice. i think i just need someone to sleep with me at night. literally :) that way i can stay warm, and then when i have my dreams i have someone there haha. yeah, there was a lot of drama. people are stupid. :( who is your least favorite person ? is it me ? yeah, right, it couldn’t be me :)
  me: hehe. i’m gonna get you this huge teddy bear to sleep with. bigger than ashley. then you will be warm:) chyeah, it’s you ! nah, you’re right, it couldn’t be:) it’s brielle. yuckkk.
  taylor: lol i don’t think that would fit in my bed. ashy is huge lol. teddy bear would be nice. i’ll get you one :) i’ll get you a big one sometime this summer. it will be a surprise :) you know i’ve been in a nice mood all day today :)
  me: it can’t be a surprise if you already told me about it silly :P but that’s ok. ok maybe i’ll get you one smaller than her. hmm…oh, that reminds me. you should go to cedar point june 17:) that would be sweet. and i’ve noticed. you have been in a very nice mood. i like it. :)
  taylor: well it will be a surprise bc you won’t know what day then. :) it will be really random :) i’ll try to go that day :) i really will :) you know this is me. i’m usually just nice and sweet like this actually :)
  me: oh ok haha. :) that will make my day. and really ?? aww yay ! i’m way excited now. :) and yes, you are quite sweet. no lie. except when you’re saying profane things at me bc you think that i don’t like alice in chains. ;)
  taylor: oh, yeah, i’m sorry about that. i misunderstood you though. i thought you said you don’t like them. what did i say ? oh, yeah, i screamed, “fuck you !” haha my bad :) but you almost gave me a heart attack the other day but it’s ok :)
  me: it’s ok. we’re even. :P no, not really bc i got you a lot worse. i still feel bad about that. but i’m gonna give you a huge hug tomorrow:) and remind me to give you something else. it’s gonna be funny. you’ll like it. do you know what ?
  taylor: yeah, you might have got me a little worse, but it’s ok. i’m tough :) yeah, i’m looking forward to my hug tomorrow. only reason i’m going to school tomorrow. :) hmmm no, i don’t know what. it’s gonna be good though. don’t forget at movie night you have to do my wish for the night :)
  me: i’m hecka cold. that’s what. and you better be tough bc i’m totally tackling you:) i give good hugs, so you won’t be disappointed:) and i won’t forget. i’m curious now. i locked that message in my phone so i won’t forget. :)
  taylor: well it’s ok cuz you’re tackling me onto a bed, right, babycakes ? :) aww you’re cold. drive over here, and i’ll keep you warm. :) oh, wait, you don’t have your license. :( it will be a fun movie night.
  me: no, i don’t. :( damn. and yep, i am:) maybe haha. and you keep saying that, but i don’t know what we’re doing hehe. but i’ll trust your judgement and say yes, it’s going to be a fun movie night, indeed.
• this part is actually a very sad story, in my opinion, but also quite beautiful because it is a story of friendship:
  i’d been saying for the last half of the year that i was going to cry when andrew graduated. he kept saying that it wasn’t true. about a week and a half before graduation, it hit me. i cried myself to sleep. one of my best friends is leaving. i don’t know what i’ll do without him. i told him the next day at school that he was wrong when he said that i wouldn’t cry because it had already happened. he didn’t believe me. his graduation party was on sunday, may 31 after graduation. this may sound kind of dumb, but i had written him a long letter that said how much i loved him and was going to miss him and that. tony and i both went to the party because andrew loves my family (which means a hell of a lot to me), and he’s friends with tony, too. he actually invited all of us, but i told my parents that they couldn’t come. when it was time for tony and i to leave, i went up behind andrew and hugged him around the waist and told him that we were leaving. he said that he’d walk me to the car, so he did, and he hugged my mom and talked to us for a bit. he hugged my mom and brother, and then they got in the car. then he hugged me, and when he pulled back, he could see tears in my eyes. i was so embarrassed because i thought i had gotten it all out a week and a half before, but it just hit me. he was leaving. oh, my lanta. leaving. it wasn’t like ruby where i could see her whenever i wanted. he’s going into the air force. leaving ! he hugged me again, and he said, “caitlin, stop. we’re going to see each other all the time over the summer before i leave.” i said, “promise ?” he said, “yes, i promise. whenever you want to hang out, just call me.” i kissed him on the cheek and told him that i loved him. he giggled and blushed and said that he loved me, too. i cried the whole way home, and didn’t stop crying when i got home. i had school the next day, so i tried to sleep, but it didn’t work out so well. i ended up staying awake and talking to taylor for a bit. he fell asleep way before i did; i think i finally cried myself to sleep around two. i woke up at four, and i had two texts from andrew: one from three and one from three thirty. the first one said, “cait, i’m going to cry when i read your note. i can’t read it because people are still here.” the second one said, “well i just wanted to say congrats. you made me cry. :)” i sent him a text back saying, “dammit, andrew ! now you have ME crying again !” i couldn’t go back to sleep. so that monday, i went to school with my eyes all swollen, running on about two hours of sleep. when i told amanda this story in ag, i started tearing up again, and she said, “awwww, caitlin. you’re gonna make me cry !” sad, sad stuff. i don’t know what i’m going to do without that boy.
• friday, june 12 – i’m watching the wedding singer, and at the beginning when robbie is waiting for linda to show up at the wedding, the band is playing “don’t stop believing” by journey. haha. it sounds funny with violins and stuff.
• i don’t know if i’ve already posted this or not, but richard sent me this text the day after afterprom:
  richard: so not going to lie i had a hell of a prom i had a lot of fun dancing with u and playing around with u n the river thingy thanks for everything caitlin ur AMAZING!!!!
  he also gave me his headband that he always wore around his neck. i always wear it now.
• going to cedar point on june 17. i rode the top thrill dragster twice – first in the second car and also in the first car. for all of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a roller coaster that launches you at 120 mph at a 90 degree angle up 400 feet, and then back down at a 90 degree angle (google it). brandon hung out with cassey, kelsey, kels’ sister stacy and i. i was really glad that he wasn’t mean to cass at all because usually he’s a complete dick. i was ready for him to get on my nerves, but i actually didn’t have a problem with him all day. the first time i rode dragster was with him (you ride in pairs), and as we were getting ready to launch off and i was sitting there saying, “ohshitohshitohfuckohfuckmylifeohshitohmygoshohshitohfuckohmygosh,” he was breathing really heavily because he’s scared of heights, and he said, “caitlin, i’m gonna need your hand.” so i gave it to him, and when we got off of the ride, his hand was purple, and he couldn’t open it properly. he said he’d have to get reconstructive surgery. i rode it a second time with kelsey in the front car, and brandon stood next to the ride and took our picture. he looked quite amused at our faces. i also rode wicked twister, max air, the raptor (three times), mantis, maverick, gemini, and magnum. it was very fun. i wanted to ride skyhawk, but no one would ride it with me, and the millenium force was broken down. taylor says that we’ll go later this summer, and he’ll ride front car dragster with me, and we’ll ride the millenium force. it was quite nice because the weather had been bad that morning, and the park was pretty empty. afterward, brandon, jake, lindsey, and amanda came over to swim. very cold. but it was fun. :) a quality day.
• june 18 i had a day with gregg and amanda. it was so much fun ! i got a new belly button ring, we went to gabriel brothers and got transformer shirts for the debut next week, danced at wendy’s, drove 60.1 miles with the fuel dial on E, played 007 in kroger, and got viciously attacked by a turtle. that’s an interesting story. did you know that turtles can jump and go, “RAWR !” well they bloody well can. damn thing tried to eat us. a very, very fun day. :)
• june 20 - caiti got her driver’s license. :)
• alright. this is a long story to get to a funny point. so memorial weekend, a bunch of people come over to swim and stuff, including brielle’s (then) boyfriend, travis. if you don’t remember her, she’s the little bitch that caused me so many problems with brandon. she was dating his best friend. travis accidentally left his shirt at my house, and i asked him if i could wear it to school that tuesday. he was pissed of at brielle because she flipped at him for hanging out with me, so he said sure. so i did it. brandon knew that i did this. as i was waiting to take my driver’s test yesterday, my dad says, “hey, one of your FFA friends left their shirt by the pond.” i figured it was brandon, so i texted him and i asked. he said he didn’t know, and what did it look like ? i said i didn’t really know because i hadn’t seen it, my parents had just told me, but i think it’s white. he said, oh, yeah, i did leave it there, and no, i don’t want it back. so i was like ok, and forgot about it. amanda called me later that day, and said, “hey, caiti, i’m in your driveway.” haha. so i was telling her about it, and she was like, “hmm…do you think he did it on purpose ?” i hadn’t even thought of that. so i thought about it and said, “ya know…i don’t think he left it here on purpose, but i think he said he didn’t want it back on purpose because he knows that i wear travis’ shirt.” haha. so i just thought that was rather goofy of him. he’s a weird kid. i feel bad for him.

^{they want me.}