post randomly

brandon is trying to get with me again.

http://www.43things.com/entries/view/4316100

you ain’t doing nothing. i’ve just been thinking. and i got burnt a lot in the last six months, and i’m not up to being hurt right now.
thinking about what ? and i wouldn’t do that…i couldn’t do that. you’re like my best friend.
idk how after school we’ll never see each other.
i don’t know what you’re saying. do you not even wanna try now ?.
idk why try if five months from now we have to end it.
really, it’d be nine and half months…and we don’t even know if we’d last that long anyway…i was just thinking about enjoying the time i have with you now. but if you want to look at it that way…why [did you] even initiate it ?.
idk….
i honestly can’t believe you’re doing this again…you’re not up to getting hurt right now, but it’s ok if i get hurt because you want to back out on me again ? not cool.
i’m not backing out. we were just talking i’m sorry. i just don’t see the point in dating if we’re going to go our separate ways.
i don’t understand how you don’t see that as backing out. but fine. whatever.
why are you getting mad ?.
because.
i’m sorry i’ve just been hurt too much to do it again right now.
so you think i’ll do that ? gee, h. thanks a lot.
i didn’t say that.
you implied it.
not at all.
yes, you did.
nope.
whatever, h.
ok be hostile.
you think i don’t have a legit reason to be mad at you ? are you fucking serious ?.
would you rather me string it out and pretend i’m happy ?.
no. but i’d rather you not have said that you felt like a dick for backing out and that you honestly and sincerely like me and that i should trust you. that’s bullshit. i’d rather you not have even started anything at all.
i rather not have either. i just don’t feel like being hurt sorry.
that. right there. that’s implying it. and fine, i’ll be hurt. that’s cool.
okay be mad trash talk me whatever.
i’m not trash talking you. wtf.
u probly will.
h, i can’t believe that you think i would do that. that’s so offensive. all i said was that you shouldn’t have said things like that if they weren’t true. as mad as i am at you (which is pretty fucking mad)...i’m not going to do that. unless you decide that you don’t want to be my friend, either.
ur still a friend.
i would hope so.
sorry.

^fml.

hate boys. i hate, hate, hate them.

a thomas the tank engine tattoo on my right hip.

happy fortieth birthday, sesame street ! i love you: )

i read a postsecret that i identified with so well that it freaked me out a little bit. i felt an overwhelming sense of relief because i don’t feel so alone in certain aspects anymore.

homecoming is saturday.
i just remembered that i need to order a boutonniere por el hermador, my date. eek ! i guess mum will be doing that for me tomorrow:)

• the whole school smelled like my best guy friend. it was weird. i wasn’t the only one to notice it, either.
• i saw one of my old basketball coaches. i miss him so much.
• you know how teenage guys bug each other about their older sisters ? like, “oh, man, your sister’s so hot !” my brother informed me that his friends do that to him about me. it’s weird. i don’t like it.
• brandon, thee brandon, the one who caused me so much grief up until last june when we stopped being on speaking terms, hugged me today.
  me: “why are you hugging me ? you hate me.”
  brandon: “i do. but you were just sort of there.”
  wucking feirdo. emma says, “i think he must love you.” i say, “he’s pathetic.”
• i think i have breathing problems, and i think it’s because of my concave chest.

how nifty is that ? :-)