list 43 things that i like about myself

You know, I like the laugh lines around my eyes. Yes, yes, they’re wrinkles, and we’re not meant to like our wrinkles. But I love them, for two reasons.

One reason is that I like being my age, I like being an adult now and looking like it. I have matured, and I wear signs of that, more like a merit badge than a scarlet letter.

More importantly, though, laugh lines are an outward sign of a life well lived, a happy person in a happy life. An inverse of Dorian Gray’s mirror. My laugh lines remind me everyday of the meaning of life; they welcome in friends new and old; they add character and depth to my face.

Why would anyone want to erase that?

Well, not really. But I think I do have exactly the eyes I would like to have if I didn’t have these eyes. If you know what I mean. They’re a nice color of blue (my dad had these icy blue eyes that often looked very cold, but even though I look almost exactly like my dad, my eye color is closer to my mom’s and not so cold). They are bright and shiny and very expressive. They dance and flutter when I want them to. It helps, too, that I have pretty good eyelashes and nicely shaped eyebrows (without plucking) and kind of apple-y cheeks that all work together to accentuate my eyes. I think my eyes are probably my best physical feature, and I adore them.

Seriously, I’m a pretty good cook. I’m not always great when it comes to presentation, I suppose, although I can do that, too, but more importantly I can put good-tasting, nutritious food on the table for my family every morning and night. I can forget to go grocery shopping, look at our pathetic canned and frozen supplies and whip something up. I can cook a wide variety of meals without a recipe, including Mexican and Japanese foods. I do a lot of home canning and make all our own jams and pickles and whatnot—and they are yum. I did learn to cook some growing up, but I have really worked on it and come into my own, I think. I throw a lot of dinner parties, and I also give away a lot of my jams and pickles, and I get a lot of compliments for this. I love to share the food I cook. I love to cook for my family. And I’m damned pleased that I am able to.

I have surprised myself a time or two by being strong enough to make some uncommon choices. I wanted to go to Japan; so I found a job and went, alone. I realized I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and I have found ways to do that, despite the frequent attacks from working moms who assume I am a mindless twit. I worked hard to make this relationship with my new husband fly; it would have been much easier to give up in the face of the distance and the language and cultural barriers, and we almost did.

I am strong enough to not fear failure or getting my heart broken or being disappointed. That is my favorite thing about myself.