things that do’nt help the old mood to lighting up. ex boyfriends/fathers of your children acting like a pair of f**king pricks when comes to there children.thank god the soca;l worker are being helpful (not) broken glasses when you are serverly short-sighted (fucking nightmare)
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VIRGINQUEEN11 has written 12 entries about this goal
just watched alice in wonderland (tim burton version) thought it was bloody.the thing i like about it was that it all about courage and self belif.
decide to stop letting people boss me about. it only way to feel free this. i been suppessed too long.
it turn out my low mood and energy may have been because i was sickening for the flu.
find it diffcult this morning to function. sleepy, lacking any montivion to do anything. all keep focusing on is all the shit that surround me right now. ex boyfriend a prick, have two children who i do love but finding it hard to rise above the darkness and care for them properly.think might be tad pariunod keep thinking the ex want me to kill my self. so he can run of with his girlfriend with our baby. getting a grip is proving harder than normal.feel like on a rollercoaster that forgotten to stop.
i am boiling with anger tonight. family problems. you know when you think that thing “suiside” but do’nt know how too. i hate my self for thinking as i have two beautyful children. but i am exsused and deeply unhappy with this life.sometimes i wish it was real what they say about 2012 and how the world going to end.least then there would be an end insight.
suddenly really tried tonight. feeling numbed and just want to esape everything around me. no sence of want to be part of anything just want to hibernate away from it all. miss my baby boy. he off with his dad. painful. no one care cause it what right for him. but sometimes you just want to scream what about me. thinking of moving away down south. would be lonely,islated, and cut off from family support. but hey there nothing keeping me here anymore. i do’nt want to die here. time to living my dreams right?
not been feeling that great this last few day. mostly down to a cold and having two active children who want and deserve attention. but been really distance and snappy with them.was managing feeling for ex. but gone back to hate and fear again. also thinking i might be abit bipolor because i seem to have a few days where i want to do hunderd things that day and get so irrated cause no one understand or want to help. then all ideas just stop being inportant and feel dead and just want to sleep. but possably just being hypercondrat.
there this film called eleturn sunshine of the spotless mind. got in years ago.alway wished life was that simple. like anything bad that happen just delete it as if it never happen.but i guess this has happen,that will happen,and i will have to remember it all.
FEELING REALLY BAD TODAY. DRIVING WENT BAD, SAW THE EX RUNNING DOWN THE STREET HAPPY AS ANYTHING. COULD EVEN MUTTER A WORD TO HIM JUST WANT TO DIE. THIS GOAL GOING TO TAKE COURAGE.