Have a baby

It’s disappointing, embarrassing, and almost shameful to admit I’ve had a miscarriage. I worry about trying again. I rely on others for validation WAY TOO MUCH and feel like I should be sadder than I am because people think they have to be careful about what they say around me. My mom-in-law and my grandmother both came to be days after different conversations saying “I’m sorry I said—- ... I hope you weren’t offended or saddened by what I said about children/babies, because I know you will have them someday!”

I just want a normal pregnancy experience that will produce a normal child. Will my tendency to stress be the death of me and any future pregnancies?

The hCG test came out POSITIVE!

Now it’s time to find a doctor and take it easy!

YAY!

I went to the health department today and saw a nurse practitioner. A pregnancy test came out negative, although my period is a week late. I know some women don’t test positive until the 2nd missed period. I got a pelvis and breast exam and some advice for being healthy. I was told to stop drinking caffeine, so that the egg can implant deep into the uterus. She also advised me to start taking prenatal vitamins to ensure I’m getting the right nutrients in my body. When I told her I was playing tennis regularly and doing yoga, she was very encouraging about keeping activity up throughout the future pregnancy.

After the wedding, we stopped using protection…

And now my period is 3 days late. Crossing our fingers!

I was super-thrilled to get my period today. I guess children are still FAR off into my future…

In the middle of deeply pleasurable sex the other night, I had to choke back the urge to scream “IMPREGNATE ME ALREADY!” We’ve been together for five glorious years. I’m ready to have a family. But he’s not!