stop depending on others for my happiness

The road bike my friend is lending me won’t be available this week- have to wait one more week… grrrr… (can’t afford the 2 tanks of gas to drive up to her house and back to fetch it).

—Not necessarily her fault and she’s not doing it to spite me. Scheduling mix-up and she can’t come down. C’est la vie.

The pool is closed this week.

—It’s opening was TBA, and they decided CLOSED. It’s open for one last weekend. I just need to find some other way to exercise. Zen breaths.

Obnoxious ex-bf is delaying sending the bike frame. I’m annoyed because he’s relying on his friend R., who doesn’t follow through on things. Lately, though, R. has been reliable. Ex does not tell me this, so I, thinking R. is a feckless twit, get annoyed. Ex calls me insane. After prodding he admits that R. is not so bad, which makes me mad because I would not have been so angry if I’d known.

Yoga time!

it is possible to enjoy people and accept that they are not always going to come through for you. I have screwed up too- it’s stupid for me to take other people’s shortcomings so hard. A lot of times I’ve done things on my own because the experience was more important than the company, and had a great time. And I’ve also had fun with other folks too!

The key is trying to trust folks and being positive. I tend to think the worst of folks and then when they let me down I think, “Well, I knew that would happen” and give up right away instead of giving them another chance. Then I shut down and ignore everyone, which is a lousy way to go.