To live instead of exist

last night after knitting for several hours i got together with a few friends and my ex and we jammed in a basement. I’ve never played bass before in my life, but it felt really awesome to pick it up and do something with it.
Sam (the god of judgmental musicians) even told me to keep playing when i got discouraged and that he liked what i had made up.

it felt really good to be a part of what was going on rather than sitting on the side lines.

then my friends new gf came over with her viola and she and sam played for a while.
this makes me want to pick up my violin again and actually make progress with my trumpet.

i think i’m actually starting to do this.
ever since sam and i actually started communicating – not talking about just our days and insignificant things but about REAL things and being productive, and since i’ve started getting closer to a new friend I”ve felt wonderfully alive.

I’ve set new goals that i’m going to post shortly and I’ve begun wanting a path for myself!