control my temper

I think I’ve made a lot of improvement here. I still throw the occasional wobbly, but they’re few and far between. Weirdly, I was motivated to stop with the “Donald Duck” fits by my cat, who gets really upset with loud noises. I hated seeing him freaked out because I couldn’t handle some little stupid thing that happened.

Lately, when something happens, like I drop a dish or something, my cat will look at me, anticipating the long string of loud expletives. But I’m much better and just saying, “it’s all right” (as much for my benefit as for his!) and moving on.

Baby steps…

as usual, my temper is destructive when I finally can’t hold it in any longer.

I had finally come to the snapping point in terms of the broken heart, broken friendships, false people in my life, having to go to a job I’m so ill-suited for, etc., etc.

So I started throwing things. One of which was my book of Leonardo DaVinci’s notebooks. I hit one of my own paintings with it and put a nice gash in the canvas. So now I have to figure out how to repair the canvas.

Which should be much easier than repairing my broken heart, I’d wager…