Most difficult thing...
21 months ago
I am really struggling with the emotions I have towards my father. It’s a combination of numbness, nauseating hatred and unwavering disappointment. I cannot live my life with these feelings inside me. I have tried to get them out and I only end up feeling worse. The only thing I can do at this point is try to forgive him. If not to his face, then in my heart. But he makes it so difficult because he thinks of no one but himself. I don’t know why I let him get to me. Part of me feels like if he passed away, I would be relieved and not at all sad. It makes me sick to think that I could even admit that about my own father. I can’t believe that there are 200 of us here. Makes me wonder if this is even a goal worth fighting for?
