Since i’ve yet to permentently solve the issue of clutter in my apt in the 2 years i’ve been “working” on this goal, i’m always interested in understanding the “Why” of it. ‘Came across these decent food-for-thought articles on the subject, that i definately need to chew on….
Focus on “creating space”, not “decluttering things”.
Here’s where I get a bit Law Of Attraction oriented on you. I started my project with the aim of decluttering my house. For the first two weeks I went like gangbusters. But the more I worked, the more I found to declutter! It was strange. When I got to the point where you could really see that I’d made an incredible amount of progress, I suddenly got the urge to pull out all of the stuff we’d been storing and go through it, even though the house was nowhere near being finished! BAM – my house was a total wreck again. Boxes everywhere, hard to find a place to sit, and a visually insurmountable, overwhelming task facing me every time I woke up. I started to slide back into my “it’s all too much, why am I even bothering” mode; and that’s when it hit me: I was sliding back into my comfort zone and had attracted more stuff to declutter to myself to get there.
Because I was focusing on decluttering, rather than creating space, I naturally and unconciously found more things to declutter. Folks who’ve watched The Secret will know what I mean when I say that the Universe found a way to put more clutter into my path – because that’s what I was focusing on and that’s what I wanted to do – declutter! It was also more comfortable for me to stay in my misery, surrounded by my stuff (and it’s not about your stuff, your “stuff” is actually a visual representation of deeper issues), than it was to step into a different world where I was in control, rather than my stuff being in control of me.
Once I realized that (and it took about two weeks of having all of this extra stuff piled around for me to have this realization), I was able to face those extra piles with determination and change my focus to CREATING SPACE. The extra boxes from storage still aren’t completely done, but they’re getting there.
Also, once you change your focus to “creating space”, you’ll start to recognize and appreciate more the space you’ve already made. It won’t be “god, I’ve still got SO much to do,” but instead will be “man, look at how far I’ve come!”
So be careful about what you focus on – trust me, you don’t want more clutter coming your way! (If you get a sudden urge to bring everything down from the attic, up from the basement, in from the shed, or bring home all the stuff from the storage unit to go through….and it’s a true, overwhelming URGE to do it NOW, rather than waiting for the time you planned to tackle that part of the project,,,,then ask yourself if you’re really focusing on clutter or space. My bet is, you’re focusing on clutter and finding a way to re-clutter the space you’ve already cleaned out so that you can get back into your own comfort zone.
The WHY of clutter
Most people never stop to ask themselves WHY they clutter…they focus their attention on HOW to deal with it, WHEN will they have the time to start, WHO is to blame, or ‘WHERE can I stash this stuff?!” Yet WHY may be the most insightful question, the one that can finally bring much-needed relief.
In the decade that I have been working with people to break through their clutter, I have come to realize that your surroundings are like a mini-biography, the tangible evidence of what you are trying to say, both consciously and unconsciously. As an example….If your home is stuffed high with boxes and miscellaneous junk, what are you saying to the world? If your front hallway is impassable, or your kitchen is a tornado-swept landscape, how can people get close? How can you truly nourish yourself?
Until you start decluttering your thought process, the change you strive for simply will not happen. Your clutter has valuable wisdom trapped inside and it is literally shouting to be uncovered. Could it be time to listen?
Decluttering isn’t about redistributing your possessions so they fit better; it is about coming to terms with the issues lurking beneath your stuff. This applies to paperwork, time, debt, overweight as well as stuff.
The energy of the clutter that surrounds you—-sticky, draining and stagnant—is actually suppressing your ability to acknowledge your deepest desires. Your priorities are what drive you to make decisions and get things done (or not done!), but once you start shining the light of awareness inside, you may be surprised to discover that most often, your priorities are not at all in alignment with your desires. This is what is most likely holding you back: you don’t know what you want.
Have you ever even asked yourself what you want? Here is what you can ask:
How am I feeling? When you feel angry, sad, resentful, hurt, or lonely, go stamp your feet, really get that energy moving and connected to your body, then step outside in the fresh air and figure out one of two things: is it time to change the situation or is it time to change your attitude? Those are your two choices. PERIOD.
You don’t have to feel like a victim anymore. You can create forward motion just by asking yourself the right and fearless questions. STOP WHINING and GET HONEST. Ask “What can I do that is within my control to change the situation?”
What aspect of the situation did I create? This is where gut-level honesty really pays off. I believe in situations like this (and we have ALL been there in one way or another, maybe it’s with some authority figure that you resent), it’s about being afraid to be vulnerable and to let yourself have the very thing you are crying for: loving attention. Do you feel you deserve it? I bet not.
I have seen this again and again; we so deeply want to be seen, and yet we put up a smoke screen so thick that no one can get near us. We build fortresses of clutter: weight, debt, procrastination, stuff~ it’s all the same,,,,and then moan that no one is there for us, when it is really US who is not there for us!
Am I willing to take down just one brick of that wall as a start? You don’t have to rip yourself wide open as soon as you finish this post! Just ask yourself if you can begin to move in the direction of vulnerability. You are not a helpless child anymore. You may have been at one time at the mercy of cruel or abusive people, but that is not happening now. You are an adult and can take care of yourself. If something hurts, it’s a message not to do that again. That’s all. You will survive it. You have come this far.
As I wrote those words, I am reminded of a simple and powerful book I read years ago called The Wall. It’s really worth the read. I came across it by accident when I was really hurting and it touched my heart.
Am I hiding or healing? I started thinking there are all kinds of creative ways to avoid feelings, some appropriate, some not, but if you start to ask yourself (gently) this simple question, the ability to choose will allow you to feel more comfortable in your skin. Am I hiding now or healing?
Sometimes, withdrawing and nurturing yourself is exactly what is needed, but if that contraction goes on for too long…it becomes disconnection and isolation and that can spiral into depression and chaos on many levels. Take good loving care of yourself, yes, but make sure you are not hiding from the world.
What do I “get” out of accepting my life as tolerable, rather than joyous?
Sometimes, our idea of survival is so much that we have nothing left over but resentment and loneliness. We cover it up with smiles and a wave of the hand, but we grow weary and bitter inside.
We get a lot of attention from this role and we can play it out for years, sometimes a lifetime. But what we are gypping ourselves of is full participation in life and we are also depriving the world of the gifts we were blessed with at birth.
What am I missing and is what I am doing worth it?
Recently, Daily Om said:
When we connect to our center, we access the fullness of who we are as an individual spirit. We also connect to the energy source of the universe, from which nothing can be lacking. It could be that we have been energetically starving ourselves but trying to feed the need physically, outwardly.
Many of us feel that way, deprived from the outside, when in reality, it’s because we have not been attending to ourselves inside, and so we overspend, or overgive or overeat or disconnect in other ways.
For me, major h’mmmmmm…. Some very key factors raised. Maybe i need to change the intent of this goal to:
Creating Space in my home For The Life I Want, and tear down the walls of clutter that keep me from it
