find a girlfriend

well i said to that sk8er girl “fuck off”, so now i’m alone again. Anyway she wanted only friendship, that’s not what i need.
Oh yeah, almost forgot – my best friend dates with a very beautiful chinese girl, whith whom i could date, but my friend won. So i’m totally alone, and who cares. I even like it.

well, though she said “i had told you not to fall in love with me”, we kissed, and it was FAAANTASTIC, i want to meet her again, crazy sk8ter graffity girl ~

what can i say. It seems i feel great without her. Nobody is bugging me, i’m free to spend my time as i want to. Sometimes i feel there are better things than meeting a girl, but sometimes it’s evident that i’m wrong. I don’t know what it is – maybe my spirit and my body learned to survive, but i feel happy these last few days. Though i know, that i could be much happier. Or more miserable) hahaha

Sometimes i feel that a girl is a temporary phenomenon in my life and that i was created to be alone with myself for the major part of my life.

One of those dreams you can count on fingers of one or probably two hands. I was with my girlfriend, we were lying on the sofa, kissing(wow!). Everything was great, but her mouth was full of normal food and cat food! (Yeah i have a cat). So, if i try to decode this dream… it means, my cat is my girlfriend? Hahaha LOL

Well, a man and a women together could do a lot of good things. I’d like to find that special kind of girl, so that i could look in her eyes and keep silence. I will love her for sure. But…. when it will happend? I do nothing or very little to find her. She could be my friend and i could feel her breath, take her hand.. ha ha ha ))) I want to feel her warm for me.
Though, with every day without her i become more and more a soldier without emotions. It’s easier to live that way, not to bother yourself. The problem is – i am used to be alone, all my life i’m alone. And even fine sex doesn’t seem enough to start looking for her. Crap.