overcome my fear of spiders

it’s about dang time!!! I finally got there. Of course it only took me close to 30 years….....but it’s gone.

Last night my husband had to go to a financial meeting for a club we aer in. I decided that it would be the perfect time to work on cleaning the basement to prepare it for demo and reconstruction. One of my best friends came over and we organized and cleaned for hours. I was doing really well till I got to a particularly forgotten corner of the basement to retrieve items that needed to be put away on shelves.
As soon as I saw all the tiny…let me stress…TINY spiders that had taken up residence there I began to squeal uncontrollably. I didn’t scream…so perhaps that was an improvement….but I felt the need to squeal. Why? I have no clue…it doesn’t emit special sonic waves that will cause them to die or even run away in fear of me. All it does is make me look like a flaming wimp. sigh
My friend came over and watched as I killed them…STILL squealing….and acting like I was fighting for my life. Then she laughed at me and walked away.
I think I’ve come to the place that I realize this fear is just plain inconvenient if nothing else. I wasted at least 10 minutes in semi-paralyzed fear that I could have used to work on the project.
I have GOT to get over this. I’m how many billion times bigger than a tiny spider? Geez…I can justify me being afraid of a tarantula or a black widow or something like that. They’re deadly, but a common little basement spider….this is rediculous.
*Now just don’t let my husband know i said that or he won’t let me be a wimp around him anymore…. ;p *

Last night we delivered some beds to a needy family and as I flipped a mattress over there was a HUGE spider crawling across it! I instantly dropped it and backed off and the female social worker standing next to me just walked over and brushed it right off. SIGH
I hate being a coward…...

Ok I grew up down south and so the spiders we had were BIG and the ones that weren’t big were deadly! My grandmother who I always visited lived on top of a hill on top of a mountain and surrounded by woods. So of course there were critters everywhere! I recall on many occassions leaving my grandmother’s house at night and we had to cross through her carport and the entire carport floor was crawling with graveyard crickets. If you haven’t seen them before let me describe them. They are crickets, so SUPPOSEDLY they don’t bite. They are dark brown, almost black. They are BIG, like the size of a half dollar legs and all and they look like a wood spider on stilts and the JUMP. Imagine the terror of a little kid who’s already afraid of spiders seeing an entire carport floor crawling with these things and having to walk through them and trying not to step on them so you don’t have to hear the crunch and also trying to avoid them jumping on you. Talk about TRAUMA!!!!
Then when we moved to Connecticut we ived in a house that was backed up to a hill of woods and so we had the big nasty wood spiders. They loved to nest over our doors and windows. When I had one fall onto me that was it. I can’t do spiders.
If I’m all alone and have no choice I will find a way to kill it so I know it’s dead and not roaming free to come back and get me. If I have somebody there though to rescue me you know I’m not going near till they kill it and then I have to see the guts so I know it’s really dead. I can honestly say that given a choice between a snake and a spider I would gladly deal witht he snake. I hate spiders!!!