be me

...and illusions!

“I AM ME!”

It is far more relevant, for me, to say that I want to honor my goals and values rather than someone elses perception of what my goals and values should be.

In either senario there is no way for me “NOT TO BE” me!

my advice:

accept that you are you…
accept that your choices are where the illusion of “not being you” arises…

have a rock’in day…;-)

Love,

James

...are not mine!

there are those who will read this and understand when i say “i am a survivor!” this is for you…

hints and inklings with little real to know or understand. yet with each visit i could no more pierce blackness of a time long since passed.

in fits and shakes i approached the blackness with courage and strength. the blackness my memories of past like a moment in time that had been stolen.

i finally let it go. the gain from such a journey was not clear and i was ready to move on. then like a light switch the darkness faded and visions of my past now clear enough to see.

still here i stand…

today i love,
today i feel,
today i share!

each of us has something that can either tear us down or make us far more than imagined.

like a stone burried deep in the earth sooner or later it will be revealed.

trust that you are enough,
trust all that you feel,
and trust that you will “heal!”

with love,

james

Part of what makes the whole notion of “BEING ME” borderline ridiculous is that there is “NO WAY” for you or I to not “BE ME!”

It seems to me that it is more about accepting “WHO I AM!”

Yes, there are times that I do not speak my mind and then ask myself “WHY NOT?”

Yes, there are times that my results are far less than what “I AM CAPABLE!”

Still, I cannot separate me, myself, and I without losing “WHAT IS ME!”

My limitations are those that I decide!
My strengths are those that I decide!

Argue for either one and in the end that is what I will have…;-)

“ME!”

Unavoidable, “IT’S ME!”

With love,

James

Okay, have taken a look in the mirror lately?

Have you asked yourself “how well am I doing as me?”

Look, if you don’t give it to yourself how in the hell can you expect someone else to give it to you?

What do you want:

More time
More money
More love
More happiness
More, just “MORE!”

First of all more of the same won’t make to much of a difference. If you aren’t giving yourself but a minute here and there then how is more going to make it any better?

Quit looking somewhere else, go stand in front of the mirror, and challenge yourself.

“Can you spend 15 minutes looking at you and being happy about what you see?”

Being “YOU!” That’s “IT!”

With love,

James

Trust me, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Just as you are…;-)

until you or i can answer that question then everything will seem important.

it is only missing if you can’t find it. the trick is to understand that it is always there.

stop looking and start living.

with love,

james

...now that it is easily seen…i just don’t know that i like it, why?

the number has been on the decline. prior to this, it would not have been a second thought.

oh well, being me is just that. as they say: some will, some won’t, so what…;-)

just noticing my reaction to the number being so visible…ooouch!

with care,

james

...why try?

does life really care about fair?

do we as humans “seeking to be fair” in actuality work against nature?

what would change in life if we actually let go of the notion of “life being unfair?”

does it matter that you and i see “eye-to-eye” or is more important that you and i can “co-exist?”

james

...the rules or not…civilized or not!

this post will not find it’s way into the hearts of many and still there will be some who “YES I GET IT!”

worse case, you die, your dead, and that is it…!

so if that is it, why the “HELL” would you care about a legacy of “be good, go to school, get a job, do a good job, get a raise, get married, buy a house, have children, and live for 60 years the life that 80% or more of the people around you will live.

there is beauty in a child who looks at me (my son and otherwise) “YOUR FAT!” i am not challenged in some politically correct way. “I HAVE MORE FRICKN’ WEIGHT ON MY BONES THAN I WANT!”

if five feet tall is short then be short don’t some “DULL GREY SHADE” of “height challenged!”

my roots cherokee enough for a card, yet that is only a small portion of my roots. why the hell would i only care about you calling me an “AMERICAN INDIAN!”

my children without guidance or correction on my part have always referred to a black person as “BROWN.” i have had so many conversations with blacks where being black was it, not being “AFRICAN AMERICAN.”

have you ever noticed how children “STARE?” they are curious, they want to know “WHY ARE YOU DIFFERENT” from me?”

a child does not fear the handicap, they do not fear the homeless, a child loves with curiosity.

why then do we insist on complementing a child for being still for thirty minutes or more…and then never share with them how beautiful it is when they smile and laugh.

why the “HELL” would a child want to be an adult?

have you ever watched a child as they make first contact with another child…they are like magnets…they can hardly stand it…they want to know…they want to touch…

“THEY WANT TO EXPERIENCE!!!”

if growing up is what i have to do for you to think better of me…then go find another thread this one isn’t for you.

i want to “BREATH,” i want to “FEEL,” i want to “TRUST,” i want to “LIVE MY LIFE.”

pardon my french, “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, TO SAY OTHER WISE!”

when i see someone hurting “I WILL ASK…,” when i hear something that doesn’t seem to fit “I WILL SAY SO…,” if my experience and or observation doesn’t matter to you “THEN IGNORE IT!”

POLITENESS WON’T CHANGE what hides behind locked doors, POLITENESS WON’T CHANGE those who feel “THEIR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY!” POLITENESS WON’T give you or me the “FREEDOM TO CHOOSE!”

i don’t care what color or race or sex you are…do you really want to talk, do you really want something better, are you willing to be “UNCOMFORTABLE” i am!

are you willing to cry and feel with me both in sadness and in joy?

are you willing to laugh until you pee your pants and then be so angry that you can’t see straight?

don’t follow my path, walk beside me, let’s talk “HEART-TO-HEART” about what it means to be “YOU,” to “BE ME!”

with frustration and joy,

james

ps: breath james, breath…;-)

pps: all i know for sure is that my heart will no longer sit quietly on the sidelines of life. if i don’t say it quite right, or you don’t get it, just be ok with that…like you i am only the messenger!

and what does it mean to “be me?”

come on, if you clear on what it means “why are you reading this post?”

i am really taken with the notion that we are spiritual beings in a human experience. if this is true what the h#ll are you or i doing worrying about what “being me” means?

watch a two year old, they don’t ask, they explore, the imagine, they create…and then everyone else jumps in…!

look at it like this; my son own an xbox. star wars is the current obsession in our house hold and it has been for quite some time. anyways, back to the xbox.

it is a blast to play, you can die an infinite number of times and still jump right back into the game, so long as you haven’t lost.

okay, if we are spiritual beings, spirits being energy and knowing that energy never dies, why are we so concerned with the physical life ending.

sure “the human experience,” the pain, the suffering, the excitement, the zeal, the experience. yet, if all that can be damaged is the shell and the spirit doesn’t die, why not go all out and see what happens?

thinking loud, what did you hear.

with love,

james

as i glance each over the many lists of 43things i am often moved in different ways.

i can read through a list and suddenly feel sadness wash through my soul, and in a moment be moved to laughter.

i have even had many a moment when i simply felt “blank!”

i so enjoy this opportunity to look, to share, and to be.

hey it’s “turkey day!” go enjoy…;-)