Feel attractive again

Although in all honesty, the ‘again’ part of the goal was slightly misleading. I took this goal from someone else’s list way back when and for me it probably should have just been a two work goal of ‘feel attractive’ because again would indicate that there was a time during which I had actually felt that way in the past and that simply was not true. But today I actually do…my hair is just thrown up in a ponytail and I’m sure (though I haven’t looked) that by this time of the day I don’t have a bit of make-up left on my face…but I still feel confident in how I look…because I know that it’s exactly as God made me, and what more could I ask for?

I’ve been doing a lot of self-discovery and re-evaluating the self critical way I view myself and trying to substitute it with some more positive thoughts and it’s starting to work a little.

Seems like I’m on and off with it…but I’m taking some steps to improve some of the things I’m not satisfied with so that I can accomplish this goal.

Not sure what it is, but I’m feeling confident appearance wise today. :)

today is ‘casual day’ in our office although that’s a misnomer…since scrubs actually seem more casual than nice jeans and shirts. But for the first time in months I actually remembered and it’s amazing what coming to work in something other than ‘pajamas’ will do for your self image…lol. Of course the compliments from co-workers don’t hurt either :)

Feel so blah…and it just makes feel like I look that way too…kinda hard to feel very attractive when you barely feel human…lol.

Saturday night I got all fixed up for a party at work…and actually smiled when I looked in the mirror…now that’s progress. (I quickly moved away from the mirror though so I wouldn’t give myself time to start pointing out all the things that ‘could be better’)

I cropped this picture because my hubby was in it and he made me promise to not show it to anyone…think the flash caught him off guard…looked like he’d had a few too many…and he doesn’t even drink…lol.

It isn’t really ‘changing’ anything about me, it was something I did that will hopefully change more of my perception than actuality. It’s not something I think I should share in this open of a forum, but it was a step for me, one that I hope will help and be taken in the way I intended…we’ll see…wish me luck!

I gave myself a pedicure and manicure (except the polish…didn’t want to HAVE to stay up until it was dry enough to go to bed, if I decided I wanted to go early…I’ll do the polish tomorrow afternoon) then I took a long bubble bath…put on lots of scented lotion…then did my face mask and all…brushed my teeth extra good, flossed and put on whitening strips…all the self pampering makes me feel more beautiful!

I’ve always been so hard on myself that I’ve never felt that way in the first place…so I’m going to say that I just want to feel attractive.