be a better parent

I’m not exactly sure how I’m doing it but my kids miss me all the time. Funny too because I used to be so concerned about making sure they had a good time all the time and we do but they also get in trouble now and I think, believe it or not that says that I love them. God do I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am doing this and I know I am because my son always calls me know when he never used to like to talk on the phone. He also asks to stay longer and longer when he is down with me. I just can’t explain how wonderful this makes me feel! I think, I hope anyway that it’s because I give him love and we have fun together. He get’s in trouble when he does something wrong and rewarded for good things. It’s getting back to a real relationship I think because no matter that I am a hundred miles away, I am still his parent and he know that. He knows I love him and am there for him no matter what. I never really knew how I would know if I was actually becoming a better parent but I’m looking at these things as a pretty good sign that I am doing okay.

I think another part of, a big part of being a better parent for me is being strong for my kids. I have a hard time thinking about them and their other life and it bothers me. I can never let them see that. I want to show them something that they may not notice until they are much, much older. I want them to know that I did it all for them. I need to work on our relationships. It’s hard every other weekend at a time so I’ll need to keep thinking of new ways to hold on and let them know that I love them unconditionaly. The main focus of this entry though is to remind myself to be strong for them. Show them that even when things are upside down you have to hang on and hold true. If you can do this, then your life is your life.