I decided that I would wait until I had started college rather than going into a completely new atmosphere with a shaved head. I wanted to make friends and be comfortable with where I was at before going through with this goal. Then I realized that I should probably wait until the weather warmed up a bit rather than being stuck in Seattle with a freezing cold head especially considering that your head holds in a lot of your body heat. Now I am in Texas and looking for a job so I should wait until I get one. The way I look at it though once I do get a job is that they wouldn’t fire someone who had shaved their head because of chemotherapy so why should they fire me.
There are two things holding me back at this point though other than nerves at least because I made a promise to myself that I would go through with this even though I know that at at least one point I will hate it. The way I look at it is that if I don’t do it now, then I never will. Why do I want to do this? I think it will be an exhiliarating experience. It will prove to me that I do not need hair to be beautiful. I feel that it will be quite empowering. Too often, I feel that we as people focus on outward appearances and things that enhance them. I want to prove to myself that I am more than just the hair on my head or the makeup on my face. I am beautiful because of the features God has provided me both on the inside and out.
ANYWAYS, back to the two things that are holding me back. The first is I’m trying to decide if I should wait to get back to Washington and experience this with all of my friends rather than while I’m out here where I don’t really no anybody at all and at that time will only know the people I work with. The other reason is the whole Britney Spears situation. I don’t want people to think that I am just following her actions. No. I am doing this for me and no one else. I am not trying to be like anyone. I do admit that Natalie Portman and her character in V for Vendetta did help to inspire me. I also just find women with shaved heads to be beautiful. But mostly, I just think that this will be an empowering as well as interesting experience for me.
Ok. I think I am finally done. Haha. :]
