So I think I’m bringing a sense of defeat back from the trip because I didn’t end up with sheaves of chapters. Still I have to acknowledge the progress I made as a writer- page hours, book readin, outlining/brainstorming, then actual revision practice. Also, I think it was valuable to read the re/Vision book.
I’d like to continue on all counts. I need new moleskines maybe.
to really feel good about this goal, I need to do this for hours a day. Luckily, I would love to. Time management, especially in terms of social circumstance, is key.
I turned my diary entries around to the 3rd and suddenly it seemed like I was writing what I should. I want to write about my life without being overly personal and whiny, and it seems that once it took the final form, I was well on my way there.
If I collected what I’ve written, it would be several books. A good goal to associate with this one would be to work on a word document on a daily basis.
generation gaps/anxiety of aging
Mom’s story of how youth bond over exagerrated stories of parental abuse, her having to improvise one on the spot. Guilt over the betrayal. Always imagining her children doing the same, while we refuse to give her the satisfaction, harboring our resentments more privately. Me and my young boyfriend, the one who reaps the fruits of the revolution without dirtying his hands in the fight, how easily the young ones could let us slip back into hetero hell, while I watch helpless, disempowered by poverty and a double chin. Old homosexuals appalled at being called “queer” by the pretty young things they had liberated just as they had by the pretty mean boys they had liberated us from.
political enemies who are personal friends.
The courage to speak truth to power, the compassion to lie for power’s benefit. Laughing politely at racist jokes. Letting sleeping dogs lie in the middle of the road.
multiculturalism and cultural biases
Comparative religion- the utopic dream of finding a common (divine) thread, perhaps only coming up with divine deceptions. The utopic dream spoiled by some civilizations being worse than others, and though every one is good for something, the utopia of cafeteria spirituality, cultural smorgasbord, choose-your-own adventure is stained by its own pitfalls. Its American, specific, false as the chooser.
Is that comprehensible?
its time to do some pre-writing work. Its going to work off of my unresolved feelings around my dad and his Chilean friends, the beloved fascists. Childhood memories, political arguments, the whole soap opera I’ve just lived through. I need some characters, some locations. Some scenes. David Lynch built INLAND EMPIRE from scenes.