find love in many guises

I was home with Jordan this weekend for a Mother’s Day cook-out at his parents’ house. I got to meet, literally, everyone on his dad’s side of the family (I met his mom’s side last Christmas).

The house was completely filled (really, it was raining outside) with about 30 people I had never met before, his relatives. Right off the bat they were hugging me and patting my butt and making fun of me and grabbing my arm… true acceptance, haha. It was a little strange, but beautiful. I felt great all day, maybe because of that. My family is like that, too, and I know that when Jordan meets them, he will experience what I experienced over the weekend. I hope he enjoys it just as much.

It’s a social utility. Let’s face it: it’s a glorified MySpace in many respects (though I know nothing about MySpace). But there’s something about it that I can really appreciate: it provides a place for swift, easy, uninterrupted communication.

Someone I used to work with got married on November 17th. Over the weekend (the 8th of December), her new husband was struck by a train and killed. They were married less than one month. Words fail, truly. It’s a tragedy of huge proportions. Less than 48 hours after this happened, more than fifteen people had written to her on her Facebook profile to let her know that she was in their thoughts (and prayers, some of them). Since some of these people are mutual friends, I happen to know that she hadn’t even spoken to some of them in probably close to a year (like myself). But they wrote to her. They wrote to let her know they were thinking about her. I cannot speak from personal experience, but I think I tend to believe that words probably do not offer much comfort to a person in her situation at a time like this, but they are something. At the end of the day, you can have nothing, or you can have a pile of “I tried”s. My friend Ruth has a pile of “I tried”s on her Facebook profile. And I want to believe that even if she doesn’t appreciate them today, someday she will.

My point is this: Many of those people might not have taken the time or extended the effort to contact Ruth had it not been for the ease of the Facebook utility. Does that make them lazy or bad people? No. I think it makes them human.

How is this a post for my “find love in many guises” goal? I’m not sure. It felt right to put it here, though.

I saw my boyfriend’s parents over the weekend, and they both embody an interesting kind of love. They are probably THE least judgmental people I have ever met in my entire life. Their love for their kids is evident in everything they do, and it’s such a blessing to be able to witness that. They desire only for their children to be happy; it’s that simple. All three of their kids are responsible and mature, so it’s a really harmonious arrangement. I have to say that I envy it a little!

if only because I think it is such an important part of life and of learning how to appreciate the more subtly beautiful aspects of it.

My latest encounter with love in one of its many guises has been in the conversations I’ve had with a close friend of mine over the past couple of days. We have known each other for a little over four years, and I have learned so much from her over that time about what it means to truly care about a person, to want what’s best for them. I’m learning how to balance conversation, concern, availability, and silence. She means so much to me; if I ever get married, she will be in my wedding for sure.