be more patient with my children

5yo told me that I need better “mom manners”! He thinks I yelled again when we were tying his shoes this morning. I promise you I did not raise my voice; I was firm. He just didn’t like what I had to say!

It was kind of funny to hear, but it broke my heart. Am I a good mom?! I always thought I was, but now I’m feeling hurt and doubting myself.

to make it less stressful for all of us. Next, I’ll be waking the kids up a little earlier in the morning. And I guess if something doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done. 5yo is not really a morning kid and I dont’ see that changing anytime soon…

wake up 6:45-7:00am
breakfast
dress
brush teeth, wash face, comb hair
make bed (optional according to the day)
pack backpack- I’ll do it if it’s a tough morning…
read a book (optional)

Update: DH agreed that I may be too hard on him. His words were “If he can only go 40mph, dont expect him to go 60mph- he’ll get there in his own time.” It helps me to think of that.

This is a quote from my son this morning while getting ready for school. He says I yelled at him. I did not. And I know I didn’t because I was being very intentional with what I was saying and how I was saying it. (I may have had a ‘tone’, though.)

I don’t know how to get him motivated in the mornings. We were ahead of schedule and all he needed to do was put his boots in his backpack and put on his shoes and then we were going to read a book as a treat for being ready on time. Easy. It took 20 minutes to do those 2 things and then we didn’t have time to read a book together.
He’s so easily frustrated! If the backpack doesn’t open on the first try- he gets mad, screams “I can’t do it!” and sits on the floor and sulks. If I tell him to hurry or we’re going to be late, he panics! He’ll rush around screaming, frantically throwing and messing things up in an effort to “do” something faster. Is this just maturity? (or a lack there of?) If so, how do I handle it properly?

I want to encourage and instruct him, but I also want him to try on his own. He’s reluctant to try anything new and I don’t want that to be who he is as an adult. There is so much out there for him to try.

as a SAHM I thought the stress would lessen and I could be a little more patient with the kids. I figured the ledge of “have to” wouldn’t be looming over my head as much. I mean, isn’t my day wide open? Isn’t it all mine to decide when and what and where? I guess it is. Time will tell.

We had a great trip to the farmers market. I thought of it like a homeschool fieldtrip. (BTW-we do not homeschool.) I asked 5yo to find me fruits and veggies and we talked about how to cook things, we laughed and learned- it was wonderful!

Why can’t I be like that all the time?

I totally blew it this morning! 3yo had me up at 6am and it went downhill from there. Poopie underwear, whining,(my own Christmas stress…) and the total “helplessness” of 5yo with coats and snowman carrots drove me over the edge. I love them, but I did a lot of yelling this morning.

Dh is home now and I’ve retreated. I’ve got a house to clean- let him deal with kids.

Last night was great! It really made a difference when I spoke differently to my children. I made the effort to be extra calm and to speak slowly and clearly when I asked them to do something. They painted at the table while I cleaned up the kitchen and no one fought!

I’ve decided that there are only a few things that happen that are important enough for me to lose my cool. Most of the time it’s ok.

How would I feel if someone spoke to me the way I speak to my children? My tone and volume have needed improvement lately.

I need to listen to them before I answer.
I need to speak more slowly and more quietly.
Bend down to their level and look them in the eye.
Breathe. Pray for patience, wisdom and understanding.
Define the issue:
Is it a battle of wills?
Is it a personality conflict?
Is it a difference of preference?
Decide:
Do I wish to fight this battle?
If so, how do I want to do it?

It really is a decision. I almost have to step back and be extremely deliberate with what I say and do. So far, I’m not earning any points with leading by example…

I let myself get wrapped up in whatever it is and it becomes personal- it’s not! They’re being kids. I just need to be the parent!

5yo and I sat down and worked on a wordsearch of the Solar System. He was actually pretty good at the logic behind how to find the first letter and then to look for the second, and so on.

3yo knew how to push my buttons today, though. She was never really downright saucy, but she pushed everything to the limit. Eating lunch? I’ll eat with my fingers! Feeling warm? I’ll take all my clothes off! sheesh!

Tomorrow is a “No TV Day”. I think I’ll make playdough or cookies or something to keep them busy. It’s been snowing- maybe we can get outside and play!