change my life

If there are about 9 billion people on this insane planet why in the world do i feel so damn isolated. I mean we’re all human beings right, so we should at least have that in common and be able to make relationships with each other from there. But i feel so different from everyone else. Almost like I’m never gonna find anyone that I can relate to. And that’s a terrible thing to feel.

Don’t get me wrong i enjoy being by myself a lot of the time. But there is a difference between Solitude and Loneliness. Everyone needs to have people in there lives who love them unconditionally and whom they love unconditionally. I think we were all born that way, we just can’t live a full life without companionship.
Everyone needs friends even loners.

Can someone please tell me when living got this hard? I mean i wish i could just forget about the messed up shit, live by the philosophy of Always Love, and that would be that. You know, Just go with the flow and somehow everything would fall into it’s place at the right time. Unfortunately it’s never that simply, at least not for me.

When we were kids we just simply lived life. We didn’t complicate things. Ever since I was old enough to have a philosophy on life, I had always believed that Life was complicated. But now I’m wondering if maybe Life isn’t complicated, we just make ourselves believe that it is. I wish i could hold on to that child like mentality.

If only we could all live like Peter Pan!!

Lately I’ve been really depressed because I’m so very unhappy with so many things in my life. But I need to just stop with all this self pity and realize that I’m in control of my own life. I’ve always said that if there’s something in your life that you don’t like change it. So I guess i should take my own advice.

I Have made some good changes in my life in the past couple of months which include:

-Getting A Job
-Fixing A Friendship With Someone that Was Once My Best Friend
-Liking a Guy Who Isn’t a complete Asshole (even if it didn’t work out in the end)
-Losing 10 pounds
-Getting Closer With My Sister
-Finishing Driving School
-Working Harder to catch up in school

There are some other small things that have changed but I’m still far away from where i want to be. But i am happy with the little progress i have had. As the saying goes “The person who moves a mountain Starts by carrying small Stones” ....

I think have many stones to go, and A couple of boulders too.

i hate my life. i am utterly bored with it and i know i am not being what i want to be in this life. I just need something to change, actually i need everything to change. I’m gonna reinvent my self and my life. Everything needs to change. and im not gonna wait another second i am gonna start right now by doing the following things…

-work on accomplishing everything on my list
-being true to who i am (no matter how cliche it sounds)
-chasing my dreams with everything i have.
-believing i can do anything i set my mind to
-surrounding myself with ppl who treat me right
-facing my fears(big and small)
-not accepting less than i deserve
-knowing that i don’t need a guy to vindicate myself
-telling myself that i am worth someone’s effort
-stop living life on auto-pilot …..

and so much more