be more compassionate

Providing SupportFathers

The idea of fatherhood is both personal and universal. We all have ideal concepts surrounding fatherhood, and we also have our real fathers-fathers who were there or not there for us, fathers who provided financial support for our families or failed to do so, fathers who loved or neglected us, fathers who were our role models or gave us someone to rebel against. Our father may have been there for us sometimes and not there for us at other times. The process of reconciling the ideal father that resides in our minds with the father that we actually have is a fertile one that can teach us a great deal about ourselves.

Our relationship with our father will often affect our relationships with the other men who will come into our lives. You may have learned to behave and think in certain ways because those were the ways that your father acted and thought. Certain talents that you possess may have been passed down to you by your father. There also may be personal issues that you inherited by virtue of who your father is. Understanding how your relationship with your father has influenced you can help you better understand yourself and the life that you have created.

In a time when mothers, the sacred feminine, and female energy are being honored, it is important not to forget the importance of fathers. Father energy and mother energy are the two complementary energies necessary to bring a healthy human being to fruition in the world. Many of the ideas surrounding fathers are changing in the wake of more modern parenting styles and the more egalitarian roles that are evolving between the sexes. More men are embodying the mother energy these days, and a woman can provide father energy for her children. Either way, we can all benefit from thinking about our fathers and how they have influenced who we’ve become and the ways that we walk through this world. Let us remember to honor our fathers.

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Today I was awakened by my girlfriend; she had all the artillery, infantry and an agenda for war. It only went downhill after “hello”. It’s amazing how hurtful she can be when she’s angry. I have a really tough time being compassionate when I’m getting my ass kicked; this is especially hard when the other person is concentrating on everything that I’m not doing, or not doing enough according to her standards. Granted, I’ve been a bit more enclosed than usual after I received the bad news at work, but I don’t think that justified screaming and saying hurtful things. It kills me than whenever she’s in need of extra attention or care, she’ll beat me up instead of being honest about her feelings and tell me how I can do it better instead of pointing out the 100 ways in which I’m doing it wrong. I hate when she makes me feel not good enough. I wish I found a way to disarm her attack and put her at ease when she begins the blitzkrieg, but it seems that once it starts, there’s no stopping until there’s bloodshed. How do you establish rules for fighting fair? How do you enforce them? As soon as one of the two gets angry everything turns irrational, especially when we just know all the buttons and how hard to push them. I want to learn how to avoid conflict, and I want to eradicate it from our relationship. I’ll be taking looooots of deep breaths this evening. Not the greatest of preambles to Valentine’s…