Say the right thing at the right time

to correct DJ when he indicated that he, too, was responsible for the expensive high-tech gift that my daughter received for her birthday. She corrected him right away because she was at the store when I purchased the thing on my debit card. I then corrected him because I knew he was trying to make himself look like a family member, a father, in front of his friend. I was not trying to make that happen, I was trying to keep him honest. He did not pay a red cent for that expensive gift which I probably shouldn’t have given her and she may be too young for. I don’t mind doing it. But what I do mind is that he cares more about looking good in front of his friends than doing right by his “family”.

I am so easily goaded in to doing other people’s bidding verbally. It is shameful and demoralizing. It leaves me alienated by everybody. And while I’ve stumbled at this goal, I’ve also stumbled at the goal of not being bullied.

He says nothing and I start yelling out of frustration and call him not nice names. Why is it such a !@#$ing problem to go on a vacation? How crazy is that?

The group dynamic foils me again! Meetings are full of opportunities to put my foot (or feet) in my mouth. Seems that I did that…I think I won’t sit by the same person next time who tends to have a comment about EVERYTHING.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

I tend to provide more information than is necessary in a professional environment. This is a bad habit I have to stop engaging in. It’s not so much gossip per se as showing my strategy hand…really bad…

So what happens when no one’s listening?

It would seem that even though I have the words in hand (like a bouquet of so many daisies…or a quiver full of so many arrows) which is good and is not always the case, I don’t have the listening other who can receive my words. I can’t force others to listen.

I’m trying to accept that “Now is not a good time – maybe later” is a perfectly respectable option. But the words will probably march away all in a huff, and I’ll struggle to coax them back.

I’m confused about this goal. I have NO idea whether or not I’m on the right track. So often I must wonder if this honesty and bluntness serves any purpose but to cause people to distance themselves from me in a rapid fashion, or at least sooner or later.
I’m not gifted with flowery speech. It would be nice to be able to do this, especially with acquaintances and workmates.

I see that my lack of timing and tact consistently hurts others. I am ignorant in this regard. But I can’t write everything I need to express, though often I wish I could.