be more feminine

I’m struggling with other stuff in my life, this is on the back seat until I stabilize my life.

You know, lots of girls/young women get advice about what sort of personality is attractive. I’m going to spend more time working on having a personality/style of interaction that’s ‘attractive’ to other people.
Just had a great time with a new friend (female). I asked for help with a volunteer project, she responded, we really hit it off. I’ve fallen into a pattern of having lots of non romantic friendships with men – they’re often lower maintainence. But I need to have some other women around me, esp. since I don’t have family.

I live in a little RV. I just moved into it, there’s a lot of work to do to make it a pleasant home.
So right now physical stuff is hard. And I’m realizing it’s not the important part.
I went to some event and met a woman, and she was able to influence people just by being bubbly and bright. But she’s also a hard headed business woman. I’m going to try
to be more like that.

ok, I’ve cleaned up my room, I’m being neat.

8cD

<—broken arm patting self on back

I’m falling off the wagon.
It’s hard to keep at something like this day in and day out.
I’ve even gotten to where I don’t read the reminder emails, I just check the box and mark them read.

groan…

Somebody please send words of encouragement!

I am taking small steps.
I bought some more clothes recently, so I’m not quite so committed to grubbies. I’ve been more regular about showering.
The biggest thing I’ve been doing is keeping my big mouth shut and going along. And you know, that works. Odd part is, I found this in a self help book written by a man, probably the intended audience is mostly men in business, but the advice was ‘be agreeable’, with the added line ‘it’s suprising how infrequently it’s actually necessary to disagree’. I’ve been working with others this week, practicing that, and it does work.

I’m gonna write about something that happened some years back.
I volunteered to be a museum docent, and had to take a class to be trained. Usually I showed up for class in my grubbies, but that day I had some business thing beforehand, and showed up in my business suit, a bit late. I don’t know what I was wearing, it certainly wasn’t ‘sexy’ (a pantsuit and high necked satin blouse), but boy do I remember all the men (mostly men in the class) staring when I came in.
I figure this is gonna be hard to keep up. I’m gonna remember that incident when I’m tempted to slack off.

I have a job where they don’t care what I wear, and I don’t move in social circles where clothes are important. And I’ve been trying to live more economically. So I’ve fallen into the habit of wearing ‘whatever’, and have even gotten to where I barely have enough clothes to make it from one wash day to the next.
I’ve realized I’m not respecting myself by doing that, so I’m setitng up this 43 things thing to remind myself.
It’s hard work, like changing any habit. For me, it’s also tough to overcome early conditioning. I’m transsexual. My mom never told me to walk like a lady. I never had friends who competed with me to be more feminine, and indeed I got physically beaten regularly for being too feminine!
Well, I said to heck with all that, I was gonna be me. So now I’m not going to let residual guilt and simple laziness stop me from being me.
What’s set this off at this moment is that I’m job hunting, so I had to get clothes for that. And I realized it was fun looking good!
So, fellow ‘be more feminine’ers, lets all support each other in being girly.