commit fully to my life coaching process

I don’t know if anyone’s notice, but I’ve been having a bit of a crisis of confidence over the last few months which includes (but is by no means limited to) my confidence in my ability to do my job. This is unfortunate and ironic, as I was supposed to be coaching people to improve their confidence, and how can I coach people to confidence authentically when my head is screaming “FAAAAAAKE!”? Yeah, I can’t, that’s how. Worse, this lack of confidence in my own skills seems to have been picked up on by my clients, resulting in a lack of committment and relatively poor (still pretty good) results. And the fact that they are not paying for my services, well, that’s just made things worse – everyone knows that if you get something for free you don’t make the most of it. I mean, look at the abuse we give the dear old NHS.

So these factors have contributed to a lack of committment among many of my clients and this, in turn, has seriously eaten away at my confidence in my coaching skills. And to top it off, getting no payment and no committment from my clients has been sending me the message that my skills are worth nothing. Ouch! It’s no wonder I’ve been feeling pretty shit about it. It’s got to the stage now where I avoid checking my coaching email for weeks on end, not in case there’s no email, but in case there is! How fucked up is that? I haven’t been working on my skills, or my business, and while I’ve been doing regular pro bono co-coaching with another great coach I know, I haven’t even used up the coaching sessions I bought – you know, the ones that I actually started this goal.

It’s time I got back on top of this. I know from experience that doing and having quality coaching are both enrichening experiences and good for my personal development, because I come across such fulfilling ways to make the most of myself and my life. I need a shove to shock me back into feeling good about myself. So I’m emailing my coach right now to set up a new appointment.

The reaction to my last blog post from readers was astonishing – I now have lots and lots of lovely clients waiting to get sessions set up and going. They were all very speedy returning the exercises I gave them too, so motivation is clearly high – good work, clients! And more good work to come from all of you, I fully expect.

So now I really want to concentrate on getting some circle-of-influence clients – that’s the hairdressers, massage therapists etc I mentioned in my previous post. They’re the kind of people who could really bring in lots and lots of referrals – chatty people who meet a lot of clients themselves and who could extol my virtues to them all day long.

So yesterday I left work a little bit early and trotted down the high street in the affluent suburb in which I work, looking for likely victims accomplices. I popped into three different hairdressing salons and gave my spiel to the receptionist, explaining what coaching is, the situation I’m in, and offering free coaching to as many of their employees as want it in return for nothing more than a testimonial and a glowing report relayed to their clients.

To a woman, they were all bemused and didn’t quite know what to do with me. Two of them told me to come back tomorrow when the manager is in – not sure how this will help as it’s the stylists I need to speak to. One of them tried to give me my card back and told me that she was sure none of their girls would be interested in “anything like that”. I asked her to keep the card and to ask the stylists themselves, and told her I’d be back when I do the rounds again. Which I will.

I went home feeling a little despondent. I’m trying to give something away for free here, something extremely valuable, both financially and personally, and yet they don’t seem to want it. Who knows, maybe they don’t want their stylists to be coached in case they find a brilliant new career and leave, or in case their confidence soars so much they decide to set up on their own.

I thought that going in in person would be better, more authentic and persuasive than phoning, but maybe it’s not. And maybe the type of people I’ve been aiming at so far think coaching is a little bit “woo woo”. I’ve been trying to sell results, rather than the process, but it is tricky to do so, especially when you have to spend valuable time explaining what coaching actually is before their attention wanders or the phone rings.

I think I’ll look back at old client notes and note down some of the major acheivements my clients have made, so I have ammunition. I may also switch to offering my services to slightly more alternative therapists – reflexologists and the like – for now. I think they’re more likely to be up for the idea of coaching, and I can sharpen my sales pitch on them before I head back to the tougher targets.

Any fantastic ideas, as always, gratefully appreciated.

During a coaching session the other night – of which I was on the receiving end – it came to me that what I really need to do is coach my head right off. I want and need to coach so many people that it becomes absolutely second nature to me, and so that I know 100% that I am a life coach, and a great one at that. It would also be a great way to get word-of-mouth advertising, make a name for myself and build a client base with referrals a-plenty.

My coach recommended that I contact as many people as I can, preferably people who see a lot of people on a daily basis offer to coach them for free in return for a) a testimonial and b) word-of-mouth advertising to their own clients about how great I am, and what a huge difference I’ve made to their lives.

So I’m going to spend some time this week compiling a list of the kinds of people I think would fit into this category – I’m thinking hairdressers, massage therapists, etc (can anyone think of any more?) and contact a lot of them next weekend at the latest with my fantastic plan.

In the meantime, I have decided to extend the offer of free coaching to all and sundry (with a few exceptions), to gain even more experience and build a client base. I’ve created a six-week three-session programme called Recharge with Revamp designed to increase your confidence and motivation just in time for lovely frolicsome spring, hurrah! It’s actually remarkably freeing to remove the barrier of asking for payment and to lay myself bare in front of my audience saying, “This is what I want to offer, this is my gift to you.”

So if anyone has ever wondered what it’s like to have a life coach, but been put off by the cost, allow me to direct you to this post on my blog where you’ll find more details. Go go go go go! I fully expect all my slots to fill up fast (oo-er) and I would hate for anyone to be left out.

..and in fitting style, it was inspired by a question asked on 43things.

Hard work, this blogging lark. I’ve been editing and writing for the best part of about four hours now. I can’t feel my fingers for cold, and the post got so long that I may wind up making another post from the stuff I cut out. Multitasking, yeah!

Note to self: create blogroll.

With the help of the excellent dwlt and my honey I now have a blog with a real domain name, and an RSS feed and everything, all ready to have words of wisdom written on it. It looks pretty rubbish as yet, as it’s just got a theme nicked from Wordpress, but HA has already designed me a logo and is going to redesign the blog and build the rest of my website in keeping with it so it all looks super smart and homogenous. And there’s nothing real written on the blog as yet, but as soon as I have brain space I will put something clever on there apart from the current “Hello Mum!” I also now have an email address to go with the domain name, and have integrated it with the separate Gmail address I’ve been using for coaching, or would have been using had anyone actually emailed me on it.

So it’s a start, and it’s beginning to feel more professional. All I need to do now is add some substance to it.

New life coach, and I’m soooo excited! She’s going to coach me through setting up my practice, and in six months time it will be up and running and full!

I have my first set of homework, and the bare bones of it are as follows:

1. Branding: get clear on what my brand is. Write about what my service offers. What is its promise? What do I offer in terms of services? What kinds of coaching? List three products I offer, with prices.
2. Clientele: create what S called an “avatar” – an ideal service user for my business. Write about them – as much info as I can. How old? Where do they live? What do they do for a living and earn? What do they want to come to me for? What do they want to do? What are their issues and obstacles and strengths? How much Etc etc etc
3. Create a blog and write three posts designed to appeal to my avatar.
4. Only after I’ve done these three things, get two more clients – the best way to build a coaching business is to coach so you get really shit-hot at it. I’m going to be on the lookout for two more clients pretty soon, and I’ll be doing crazy-delicious special offers, so if you or anyone you know would benefit from coaching – and a lot of people would – then please please PLEASE drop me a line – as Madonna said to Jonathan Price, I’d be surprisingly good for you.

Whooooooo! I’m gonna be a real real real real real life coach, coaching for my supper! Yyyyyyyyeah!