stay positive

I found myself feeling better about Monday by referring to it as Magical Monday. Each person in my family was to tell something magical about the day at dinner. We tried Terrific Tuesday, Wonderful Wednesday, Thrilling Thursday, and Friendly Friday. Silly, I know, but it did keep me focused on fun things each day.

I had to speak to each member of my family the other day about negative chatter and complaining and lack of confidence. I explained that their complaining and whining about life in general was beginning to really effect me and I just didn’t want to hear it anymore. They agreed that much of it is habit rather than that life is miserable. Life isn’t miserable, life is good and getting better. We all agreed to work on the negative words and tone of our conversations.

Stress creates such negativity. I have stressful things happening in my life right now – don’t we all. And sometimes I just let it eat into my soul and make me sad, unhappy, negative, and sometimes suicidal. Thousands of people who have come before me in time have had to deal with worse situations than I have now, yet, I feel so defeated sometimes. Doint the things I know to do to relieve my stress sometimes just are not powerful enough for the negativity I feel.

I work hard at staying positive. I think I am in one more identity crisis – wondering about my worth as a human being on the planet. I love my art but I really seem to need more of a rudder. Making money is simply not happening right now. Teaching is over and art has not launched. I really don’t like being financially dependent on my husband but I am and I am not sure how to reconcile this.