Seize each day, make this summer about adventure, gratitude and being present!

So,
I live in East Van, in a house with a Wick-ass roommate who is interesting and smart and likes me and has a whole corral of great people in her life and shares them with me too.

I have a job that is maybe the best entry level job in my field in the country i call home.

I have the best career i could ask for that is invigorating, interesting constantly making me think and learn and that doesn’t drain my balls completely.

I have the most wonderful, varied and fun group of friends from the house i lived in when i first came here who have made me a part of their family and continually invite me to join in their celebrations and their larger lives. It was such a blessing to get to live with folks first because it is like a crash course in friendships and now we know each other REALLy well probably yes too well.

I have the time and energy and little bit of money to have hobbies again and the opportunity to finish things. I am taking a ceramics course in a few weeks and jumpstarting my art career as a sideline to my job.

I have family who although i don’t see them often becasue they are far away, i am closer too than i think i have ever felt. I am looking forward to seeing them on my own terms.

I have a long distance relationship that is working despite my tirelessness in wanting to forclose it for the reasons of inconvenience i keep being convinced of the value of our longer term investment in each other. I am convinced. I am also grateful for the weekends i get to leave here and go there, and come back to this city refreshed with a new eye towards its goodness.

I am excited about what is to come, and even more excited that all of these wonderful things came about in one little summer.

I helped all of these things along.

I never would’ve anticipated this summer.

I never would trade it.

I feel like my life is building me

So things have sped up/slowed down lately and i’ve been feeling like the summer is just WHIZZING By, its the 19th of AUGUST for heavens sake and we’re busy as a inlet river in salmon run season at work. :)

I moved (in with help) 2 weeks ago, after breaking my foot and being laid up in bed for almost a whole week. I’m back upright and not spending 2 of my 8 hours of work equity paying for cabs to get there and back which at least, is comforting. I have to take extra transit to get to my new house but i love it more because it is mine and it feels like MY HOME which i have missed.

My last place was the home where my roommate lindsay nested and i just used her furniture and filled her cupboards with food etc. I don’t have much but i love what i have and i’m really loving being home and being comfortable, its giving me just the landing pad i need to really take some steps towards leaping out into my best life!!!

Incidentally i had great housemates and now they are great friends on Maddams St. and now i have found that i have an absolutely wonderful roommate. We had such a great turnout/time at our house-swarming last weekend, i’m so GLAD to be here, to have made these choices to be living this life. I’m so optimistic about what might be! Hoorah!
I can’t beleive i have no pictures, well yeah, i guess it makes sense but now that i can carry things in my hands again, i think its time to start taking some pictures of my neighborhood and my life here on Venables.. c’est si belle!
I just wish i were able to start a garden here for the winter… for various reasons its just not gonna happen until spring. :S Oh well… it will be that much more glorious when it does!

What a GREAT day!

I totally loved hanging out with the crew again after a few weeks of working, and telling them tales of VanCan, like the story of officiousness in the office!

Andy’s Dad, Mom and Ilen all came out too which was fabTastic. We sat, and enjoyed the (eventual) sun and wondered at the garden, and the city view and the great group of people we all make up together. The kids were there too… playing video games/pouting/thoroughly enjoying the day as Charlie and Jodi stopped by for a few hours each with the youngin’s, oh, and Ari too..

I couldn’t have had a better day even with the passing stormclouds in my relationship.

I am so lucky to have happened on an accidental PNW family. :)
Happy fathers day and solstice everyone, maybe next year i’ll manage to get it together and see some neked cyclists at the parade!

I had a WONDERFUL DAY yesterday, i was so exhausted that i thought i was going to fully pass out in the park on my way home.
It was the first bikeride of this summer and the first bike ride since i lived in canada last, since wheezie.

I feel like Zee and I will get along fine once my butt recovers.

Vancouver is really a pretty great city. I am getting over my apprehension of this place and actually keep finding myself in thoughts of ‘what neighborhood would i like to live in’ etc. I think i might LOVE it here.

Happy Accidents!
Oh, there’s a folk festival in jly that i’ll be around for that i’m trying to figure out if i would like to volunteer for or if i should buy myself a ticket to it. :) Hmmm…. maybe volunteer. I need to decide super soon though.

I am so excited to move to my new home in Vancouver this summer. I took the train up yesterday and found a great sublet living with 4 other people in a shared house. :) It looks to be exactly what i wanted and its wonderfully non-commital.

I am starting to really look forward to this summer, and i hope it will be rich and full of lots of new friends and fun times.

Now that i see the neighborhood i’ll be living in (near commercial drive which is a kind of cool burg just a half hour bike ride from my work or a 20 minute transit ride.

Now all i need is to fix up my bicycle and pack my things! Woot!
Oh, and i spoke with my new employer and it looks like i will be able to take a week to move up there and therefore have a good long 2 or 3 day hike before i start working full time. Hooray!

I don’t know if its that i’m not making to do lists regularly or following the routines that i have traditionally but i’m out of whack.
I feel sick today and am thinking about blaming all of this on some nebulous ‘sickness’ but i think in fact if i am sick it is as a result of the unbalancedness of my life right now.

I hate getting home in the afternoon and not wanting to DO anything… its awful..

I need to take some time next week and maybe this weekend to just loaf around and be satisfied by myself.

:)
Hoorah.

The second i start to ‘think’ about something it becomes an issue.
I have had the ‘little extra middle’ on my mind and its becoming an obsession. Everything i eat is like a little rebellion against the absurdity of being a little fluffier than i would really like.

Its an odd sort of mental trick that i need to perform to just getting back into the realm of real people again. I LIKE good food, don’t enjoy crap. Don’t enjoy smoking until i’m tipsy, but i don’t love being tipsy either…

I love me.
I need to start thinking about that rather than about what i’m not.

I am going to actively start saying ‘i love me’ out loud before i open my mouth to eat something, or before i sit my ass on a bus that takes me someplace i could’ve walked. Its not punishement its just that i feel better, i get more done, i’m friendlier and i look hotter!!!

I love me.

I think i’m going to buy a pack of really awesome mints too, or some dental floss or something so that i can brush up after every meal. My teeth need me too.

Go go gadget enthusiasm!

Actually sick today and last night, I’m physically exhausted and off balance. I’ve gotten fat and lazy and dispondent over the last month or so, and although i’ve been busy and less lonely i need to learn to balance that with a regular diet and excersise routine.

So, back to the grind. I’m gonna spend this weekend feeling better, meditating, completing projects and finding the tenacity to care for and keep my friends without sacrificing my self.

Has been crazazay!
i’m supremely exhausted right now, thank gosh its the weekend!
I’ve been out doing things, like wandering seattle, hitting up Discovery park, and snowboarding all day yesterday because my little cousin has been here and i’ve been keepin’ him busy in addition to my regularly scheduled programming!
I’m really lookin’ forward to monday when things get back to normal and i can start making serious moves towards playing sax and flute for the tests next week and getting my drivers tests over and done with. :) i miss my zazen time. :) but at least snowboarding is excellent excersize!!

I’ve been feeling a lot better since i realized that i was MISERABLE before christmas with the life i have scrapped together here in WA.

I am in a new city and i won’t be here all that long so laying down roots seemed like a bit of a farce until i realized that that’s what makes getting up and getting things done FUN and WORTHWHILE!

I have been taking a backseat in my own life and its time to stop that already.

I’m fabulous and fun and openminded and positive in my own unruly kind of way and i love me.
Why shouldn’t other people get to know and love me too while i’m here, and why wouldn’t they want to know someone fantastic that they could maybe visit and befriend all over again sometime down the road ahead!?

So yeah, i’m done going along for the ride.
I’m already planning things for the next few months, i’m actively doing more volunteer work, and am really excited for the upcoming week.
I’ve joined a book club and a french converstation group and i’m hoping to spend some time actively doing stuff (instead of just actively spending time if you know what i mean…?) with the people in my program. They are good people and varied and interesting!

I’m going to be ‘landing’ all over again in a new city when this year is over and i’d be even better off if i knew that HECK YEAH i can make friends in a new place and have a good time that doesn’t involve eating alone in restaurants just to get out of the house!
(or going on dates which i’ve been putting far too much stake in lately too..) I’ve never been happier (aside from the miserable wallowing in my lonliness part) and being single is a big part of that… i’m not responsible for anyone elses feelings or neuroses and i’m at a point in my life where the only person i have to answer to is my own self.. my inner jiminie cricket, my inner hunter s. thompson, and my inner louise bourgeouise!

Here’s to 2009 and being in my mid-late 20’s!!!!!