build a reputation based on my work

Last week i smoothed dents and replaced the receiver for the D trumpet that used to belong to william vacchiano, and now belongs to marty barinbaum. Marty came to pick it up and brought in his very storied piccolo axe, the one he will be playing this week with the symphony.

I replaced the corks/felts for him, removed a dent from one of his connecting ports and silenced the springs for him.

He played in our back room for a while, as a treat and to make sure he felt comfortable with the horn.

It was an honor and frankly a boon for me to get to work on such great horns.

He let me keep the d’s mouthpiece receiver and i think i’m going to stretch it into a ring for my own personal totem.

I was proud to work with this great player, and to know that he had actually ‘heard’ of me!

With a reputation like that starting to blossom leaving vancouver is really really bittersweet.

oi vey!

the prospect of leaving this job is daunting. I have no doubt that i have done a great job of creating a reputaion for myself among players, however the coworkers and my boss who hears them implicitly before me have serious doubts in me.

It stings that after two years they are still concerned and that they don’t trust me.

i guess its fair to say that that is a part of why i am glad to be going.

in spite of their attitudes about my work i feel that we have really developed good personal understandings of each other and i hope that is what they remember of me, not the negative bit.

I will miss these dudes, and their disapproval.
I have learned a lot from them, and they were wonderful zen masters!

Today a local brass-hound who i have done some repairs for came in to thank me. Kind of out of the blue and really rather wonderful.

I felt like a champ. :)

I did a tarot reading this morning… yep, nerd, but in anycase i think it has me pegged.

It was a ‘report card’ reading and this is what it suggested:

Right now, i’m progressing really well, things are positive, friends and emotional wealth are available to me.

So far i have succeeded at balancing my financial hardships and lifestyle, despite some unruly situations.

What is blocking me is my self, my own self doubt is getting in the way and keeping me unfocused on what i have, i am stirring up trouble for myself spiritually that doesn’t exist. I am emmotionally vaklempt at the notion that things in my family are falling apart and so i am avoiding it and feeling guilty about it, and i needn’t.

Physically, I am up to the competition and i will succeed if i strive to overcome physical challenges and beat back my oponents, specifically my weight and health issues.

Intellectually things are golden. I keep drifting off into distraction and forgetting how good i have it here.

I need to become more actively grateful for the life i have BUILT and stop trying to BUILD one.

:)

If i put down the ducky a little i think i’ll be able to focus on my body image/health and on the friendships that i already have.

I can do that.

Its foolish to keep trying to impress people… I’m happy, that’s impressive enough.

So much fun was had!
Including a late night race to the bus station in seattle from the pub in renton and back again… 40 minutes there and 20 back.. with a pit stop to drop off to passengers by wedging the car in front of the bus so it wouldn’t take off without them!

Great friends, good catchup, a mind-eraser?! and some awesome new trade contacts.

:)

I love my job, and the people that it introduces me to.
I have since made friends with the guy in portland i want to interview, we are facebook buds, and he has offered to show/teach me some things! How RAD!!!! Now i just need to get me some funding to go down there and write an article.

Booya.

Also,
Curt Alterac’s comment to me after i suggested that he had the ‘luxury of doing overhauls’ : ‘We all make choices’

I take that as a challenge.

I have choices to make, and will be considering them within the next year. seriously.

Also, today the hellian i mean helicon was picked up after final tuning adjustments. its going to be played tomorow for the ‘tuba christmas at the downtown christmas market.
The owner of the horn tonight said to me; I’m happy! and i think that was followed by ‘you’re my hero’ which i politely denied. :) I think john phillip sousa is my hero for changing his name from ‘SO’ to So-U.S.A. in honor of his new homeland.
tidbits i learn in a music store.

good stuff!

the news is in, and i’m A.O.K.

I’m glad to be able to level with the bossman about the shop, my sometimes frustrations and what i really hope to accomplish.

I have lots to learn yet, but i’m pushing my little envelope every day and getting lots and lots of repetition in the meantime.

NEXT GOAL: Become the NAPBIRT zone 8 Regional Rep and establish a newsletter for the canadian napbirt members.

Its one thing to be the new guy, the one who hasn’t any experience, and as Ira Glass said, ‘I sucked for a long time before i was anybody’.

I know that i will suck for a long time, and my little win’s here and there are fabulous and the guys are great at bringing me back down to zero when i get a little gloaty.

The problem i have is that there are times that i feel like i’m not only picked on, but that i’m being judged without representation.
I can’t work on something that is of concern to my co-workers if i don’t know what they are saying about me because they do it when i’m not around.

I walked in on yet another of these ‘behind my back’ divulgences the other day. Just as i came in the door, they were huddled in a discussion about something i was working on. If i hadn’t walked into it, maybe i never would have known what their deal was.

Its frustrating because it makes me wonder how much i miss.

Its also frustrating because i feel like there is some secret code that i don’t know. I ask for help but somehow if i don’t prostrate myself enough i get vague and dismissive suggestions.

I have LOTS of sources which is my saving grace, but it sucks that people on the internet and halfway around the world are of more help than the people i sit next to every day.

I have made mention of this to them, and to my boss and no one seems to find it consequential enough to address.

I guess i’ll just go suck an egg.
or keep doing my job until someone notices that i am not completely ignorant anymore. I do enjoy it, even the learning… but the weird boys club thing is discouraging.

Hey, remember that zen question/answer:
I feel discouraged, what can i do?
encourage others!

Thats what i’ll do.

I spent half-days in each the long-mcquade shop as well as visiting ron partch, my mentor and canadian brasswind hero.

I had a really good and reassuring experience there, and am confident once more in what i have learned so far.
Everyone has different skills abilities and practices, and it was good to see that in practice.

I think i have made some new contacts, renewed some older contacts and definately re-focused on my own directions in the field.

I think i might be someone that someday ron partch reccomends to his clientelle on the west coast.
That would be sweet-cool!

Now i just need to figure out if that’s where i want to be.

woot!

So much fun to repair and clean up.
I’m very much looking forward to many more!

that i’ve become the occasionally late one, the one that leaves early, the one who takes long lunches.

It matters to me that my co-workers can rely on me, and that I have a relationship that is professional.

I am making thier respect my priority in the coming months and thereafter. its not about ‘getting away with’ what i want to do but rather being a contributing member of a team.

:)

I feel like i’d like to do something specific to regain their respect but that’s not really how it works. I just need to be there. On time. When i say i will. To be a positive addition to the team.

I guess I’ll set a get out of the house alarm like last year.