get angry more often

He was being unreasonable about the pay and display ticket on my car whilst I was trying on clothes in the January sales (that start in December) and so for once I shouted back at him – stormed out of the changing rooms – gave him my car keys and told him to go and put more money in the car if he was so worried about it.

Yay – I think…

... ooooh I was cross at work today. Just a serious of things conspired against me and this added up to me being quite substantially wound up – so much so that I had to go for a coffee and a “snickers” (marathon) choccies bar just to calm down. People can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.

I think I almost threw something at my monitor – I am not quite a raging bull but definitely getting in touch with that side of me…

A bit of a long story but here goes. I have been moving home recently and this has involved moving lots of things in boxes. As a temporary measure I left my bike outside our back door in the alley. It was locked up but not too anything. I finally finished moving the boxes on Friday and checked my bike on Saturday and lo my bike was gone. So some skanky so and so stole it. Oh well I thought it is only a bike (one I had bought at Uni many years ago) and whilst being a bit peeved, I got over it. However, walking home from the train tonight I went past our local Kebab shop and guess what was lying on the pavement outside… My bike. So I enter the afore mentioned kebab shop and ask anybody if that is their bike lying in the street out the front of the shop. Nobody says yes. So I explained that it is my bike and it was stolen from the around the back last week and proceed to take my bike back. This is very unlike me but something about the sheer cheekiness of not only stealing my bike but then leaving it about 30 yards from my front door just got to me. Grrrr! So this is what anger feels like. Oooooh I kind of like it.

I just don’t.

I feel like I am missing something,
Some spark that I should feel,
Some inner rage that burbles aways before errupting,
Where has my passion gone am I empty in the end,
Whilst other swear and cuss and throw things,
I just smile and think them ridiculous.

I have lost it maybe twice ever,
Can anybody help?