figure out what I really want

The method is action. Taking action on what needs to be done will open the way for desire to come forth.

that is a problem sometimes as i have no idea what i want besides satisfying my base needs, or getting rid of some agitation that may be happening at any moment. so basically, what i really want is to be comfortable while striving ahead towards a goal… what is that goal? it doesn’t even matter now. i just want a goal to work towards. this makes me a pretty good robot slave as i don’t care what the goal is as long as i get to strive towards it. hehe. this belief also creates a conflict, as i resist anyone and anything that tries to get me to work for them. knowing that all i need is a goal and i’m off, i am aware that i can be used by others for this, and find that detestable. its funny, it is precisely because i so firmly believe that i’m a great worker/robot that i refuse to be used so. also when a clear goal is not given to me, and praise and/or success depends solely on the acheivement of the goal as intended, it makes me highly anxious.