Keep a daily journal

Last week wasn’t one of my best. I blew off my food diary, blew off exercising, I even blew off yoga class today. It hasn’t be pretty.

I guess the good news is that I am learning more and more about how to help my little kid grow up to be the best person he can be. I skimmed through a book that discusses activities you can do with you baby in the first three years that will help your baby grow smart. The recommendations are based on scientific studies collected from the past ten years or so.

I’m happy because I’m doing a lot of things that the book recommends. And also, the recommendations aren’t that difficult to add into your day. It boils down to giving you child your full attention, bonding with your child, and developing your child’s communication skills.

The biggest change I’m going to make is to stop trying to multi-task and do other things while the little man is awake. The laundry can wait. The dishes can wait. He’s only going to be little for a short time ad I don’t want him to only see me when I’m working on a computer or watching tv. He wants to play. He wants to learn. He wants to talk to me!

This doesn’t mean that I have to cut back on some of my ambitious goals. Instead, I need to work towards each goal more slowly and more deliberately with my full mind focused on it and not think about all the other activities going through my day.

It’s actually pretty difficult to put so much energy into one thing at a time. But if it were easy to change, than more people would do it more often.

My goals are grouped into three different types because I think you need to have all three kinds to goals to create your whole self. These goals acknowledge that I’m flesh and body, that I can think, and that I believe in something exists out there that brings meaning to all of our lives.

Physical Goals:
The food log is up and running. I’ve reduced the number of meals I eat that include meat. And I attended boxing class three times last week and even a yoga class yesterday.

Mental Goals:
I’ve started reading and studying two books: Pilgrims Progress and A Beginner’s Guide to Zen Buddhism. I updated my blog everyday.

Spiritual Goals:
I attended a Buddhism class and practice meditating for 30 minutes. I found a tai chi class that starts in September. This week I need to meditate for 15 minutes every day.

When I look at my son and watch him practicing standing up and crawling, I want to tell him that he has really worked at becoming a very proficient little crawler. I want to tell him that he can do anything, once he works hard enough to get good at it.

Sure, there might be people out there who are naturally more athletic or more graceful, but they can never fulfill their full potential if they refuse to develop and hone those skills.

Look at me, for example. I’m a good writer. I’m a good cook. I’m a good artist. But because I’m lazy and lack motivation, I’ve never been able to really become great at any of these things. I love to do them, but I just don’t want to work that hard.

What really blows my mind is that I get so frustrated trying to find some way to contribute to society, to make a difference. I keep searching for answers in career assessment tests, in horoscopes, in self-improvement books.

I waste all my time searching and searching, and yet here are all these skills that I have and I’m not using them because I don’t think I’m good enough. And I don’t want to work hard to become good enough because that’s like… work.

And what if I do all that work and.. no one likes it?

It’s so much safer to just stay where I am and dabble. I can keep looking for that magical answer and I don’t have to risk anything is I can keep running and avoid making the committment to myself.