today i was very confused abt what to do…
but now i think it’s clear in my mind… what i wanted to do… n what i have to do..
i just want to finish what i m doing now.. n that is b.com from YCMOU..
no.. i don’t want to complete any other things.. n i don’t want to get distract now…
n dont want to think what other think… or don’t want to follow there opinion…
i m getting very distract again after talking with anyone n with their opinion..
n now stop feeling unhappy abt it … don’t u see… didn u try at all??... were u siting quietly n not doing at all..????
don't u know to respect the efforts u had taken for those? if u had priority for those goals u could have archived it...
n stop feeling ashamed of ur low education.. at least u didn give up till now… working on i after so many failures..
1st u joined that course of B.B.A. but u couldn’t do it at all… cuz u were working… n u couldn’t able to reach that person back… was that ur fault…????
then u tried n filled form for 12th… but u couldn’t give exam.. u wer working…
then u gave mcp exams…
but u could’t give 12th… so u join again bsc .it… u done with preparatory..
n then gave 1st year exam tooo… but that institute was fraud .. what u can do in this case… u have passed bsc 1st year but u don’t have it’s certificate.. as it’s in the office…
if that person is cheater… what u could have done in this case.. at least u don’t want cheat certificate as others… so forget abt it… don’t think what others do…
then u were ill… for one year… still u tried to give the 12th but u couldn’t able to go for exam… is that ur fault..????/
again u tried... but u coulnt go there... do u remember that...
& again in last feb 2008 u again went their tried to give 12th exam… u gave some papers n then u gave up… that time u could have done with it…
but don’t u see how much u have stressed after ur illness… did u forget the whole immune system were damaged…
how much strength do u expect from yourself… u r still alive n trying something isn’t it more than enough…?
have u forgot how were u treated when u were ill..?
even after ur illness who did support u that time … tell me?
at least stop blaming urself… u r indulged in self-pity…
.....
no n now i m not giving that exam.. cause i have to complete lots of things now.. n i can’t handle that pain.. n even i had given the equivalent exam…
&.. no... i don't want to get distract seeing that college again.. emotionally,,, mentally...
n i have already lots of emotional stress, blackmailing, arguments at home to worry about..
no now i don’t want to hurt myself more….
It may be slow or not worthwhile or stupid thing or very low aim for my home people… n to her ..etc.. whatever it is…
this is very clean… n honest branch… at least where i have taken admission… n i love to study for it…
well i m saying home people… i really don’t wanna say family or relatives… oh god i dont wanna say… i m sorry…
22 nov 08
